Miscellaneous: Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

By skichick54 - 24/08/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 293

You deserved it 3 741

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 18/01/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 401

You deserved it 2 187

By egged - 01/10/2009 06:43 - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 2 263

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 325

You deserved it 443

By socialdisease - 22/08/2011 15:58 - United States

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 802

You deserved it 5 107

Damage control

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 00:00

Today, I overloaded the washing machine and it flooded the downstairs. The flooring will have to be scrapped and drywall replaced. It's 100% my fault. Did I mention this is not my house? FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 1 154

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 245

By COCKYmanUSC - 12/09/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 077

You deserved it 6 447

By elle - 23/05/2011 10:17

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 331

You deserved it 4 142

By wet - 23/04/2011 18:33 - United States

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 15/08/2011 02:39 - Reserved

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 047

You deserved it 7 026

yummcookie 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 11:50

Points for creativity surely?

afdude87 6

Wednesday 24 August 2011 11:51

That must've taken skill.

Comments

sarahmcgeee 5

Wednesday 24 August 2011 16:24

but there so good! that's a waste of perfectly good fruit :/

orchadork4 7

Wednesday 24 August 2011 16:27

was the watermelon seedless?(:

For_Real_Deal 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 16:47

Like a boss

sxe_beast 11

Wednesday 24 August 2011 17:30

Are you... were they... *resists racial stereotype jokes*

vegeta922 2

Wednesday 24 August 2011 17:31

Wow.

Omfgitsmia 15

Wednesday 24 August 2011 17:37

That's pretty bad ass lol. I would have never thought of throwing watermelons.

demonspeed 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 17:41

Epic. Wrong....but epic.

Havin 19

Wednesday 24 August 2011 18:02

Mmmm

emithe1andonly 1

Wednesday 24 August 2011 18:03

How would you watermelon a house? Did they airbomb you?

i8myhedgehog 6

Wednesday 24 August 2011 18:06

Watermelons, waaaay better than eggs.

Keywords

Animals Cats Health Embarrassing Christmas Work Awkward Love Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk Transportation AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Gun control Kids Parents Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Miscellaneous Food Delivery Family

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Today, my girlfriend is mad I won’t indulge her “Sleeping Beauty” fantasy. She doesn’t want me to just kiss her, she wants me to full on fuck her. Call me crazy but I just can’t get it up for a passed out person. Yes it’s consensual, but it just feels uncomfortable. She doesn’t get why I’m not into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 358

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me unless we get married within a year and have a baby. I don’t negotiate with terrorists but now I’m gonna be single and alone over Christmas, unless I wheedle myself into my brother's Christmas, but I think I’d just ruin it for his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with some kinky role play. I chose a sexy naughty nun's outfit, complete with head cover, thigh-high stockings and crotchless panties. I guess my outfit was a little too convincing, because he couldn’t get it up. Thanks Catholic guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 889

Today, I found out it's not normal to constantly develop boils in the same general areas. Some of those areas include: My neck, my abdomen, my forearm, my forehead, right next to my eyes, right below my armpit, right next to my genitals, and even directly on my penis. I want to rip my skin off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 117

Today, I thought it would be funny to take an airhorn to a golf course and blow it while people were teeing off. It was very funny, until I blew the horn during some guy's backswing and his ball was shanked in my direction and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 6 054

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 476

You deserved it 5 752

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 793

You deserved it 18 946

Today, I realized my success rates for sex in my committed relationship were really, really low, so I've decided to stop trying for a while. I also recently have learned Excel. I made a pretty complex tracker if I ever decide to try again to monitor failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 187

Same thing different taste

Damage control

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