Intimacy: Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear...

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 982

You deserved it 19 056

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Same thing different taste

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 810

You deserved it 7 619

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 089

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 250

You deserved it 32 739

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 02:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 185

You deserved it 2 826

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 4 681

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 281

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 742

You deserved it 8 497

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 525

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 073

You deserved it 1 156

thatonekid2010 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 9:13

mmmm cheeseburger :)

wasup21 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 9:13

lmao. did you get it supersized?

Comments

loonygun 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 9:23

I could do the same with my ex. even with a simple touch

tinylilpenis 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 9:25

You stupid fuxxing fat cheesebuger eatting bitch!!!

sarah48_fml 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 9:28

lol sorry but this is kind of funny.. I would make fun of you too

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Sunday 8 August 2010 9:28

YDI for having a roommate while married. YDI for being turned on so easily. (although really, that's awesome. I'm only saying YDI for that b/c it's what I do.) YDI for being a moaner. YDI for being a fatty for whom a cheeseburger is a turn-on, even if it's a cheeseburger in paradise. Heaven on earth with an onion slice. None too particular, none too precise, just a cheeseburger in paradise.

aggieskate900 0

Monday 9 August 2010 10:47

I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and french fried potato. Big Kosher pickle and a cold draft beer, Good God almighty which way do I steer? for my Cheeseburger in paradise, Makin' the best of every virtue and vice, worth every damn bit of sacrifice to get my Cheeseburger in paradise