Kids: Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 594

You deserved it 4 112

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 14/03/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 452

You deserved it 213 128

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 037

You deserved it 601

By ilikecake - 29/05/2009 11:12 - United Arab Emirates

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 386

You deserved it 53 426

Here, have this

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 875

You deserved it 4 909

Kids these days…

By cakehater - 21/08/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 312

You deserved it 2 466

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 16:00

Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 2 592

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 06:13 - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 399

You deserved it 17 297

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 900

You deserved it 6 338

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 928

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 970

You deserved it 3 693

Next

Top comments

evnflr 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:51

Now that's a shitty situation.

mama2b3 20

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:53

First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!

Comments

AugustBurnsToast 14

Thursday 26 January 2012 10:49

That is hilariously unfortunate someone needs to illustrate this fml hahahahahahaha

javierb88 3

Thursday 26 January 2012 11:13

Your husband is an asshole and that is child abuse

CsHx 16

Thursday 26 January 2012 11:20

Popular son haha.

tony23h 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 11:43

Time to get a new toilet.

asherm 15

Thursday 26 January 2012 11:44

Your husband is an ass! Then having to explain situation to parents, and what if a kid had a worse reaction than just crapping? You never know about allergies. Not cool.

heyred 11

Thursday 26 January 2012 11:45

Let me get this straight. Your husband POISONED 40 minor children. And you are standing by him? You are culpable. I would have called Poison Control AND each parent at the very least. Then the police, and a good divorce attorney.

Cynical_in_SK 6

Thursday 26 January 2012 11:50

Did you know what he was like before you married him...or not? Not that it matters cause either way YDI.

J9DeeZy 4

Thursday 26 January 2012 11:55

I'm not even sure if I knew 40 people when I was 7. Damn, I mean shit.

Mental1942 6

Thursday 26 January 2012 12:01

Can u imagine being the guy clean up after the party

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Thursday 26 January 2012 12:03

Your husband is an asshole. That is all.

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I agree, your life sucks 1 121

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 4 272

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I agree, your life sucks 44 635

You deserved it 8 111

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I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 3 113

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I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 2 239

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I agree, your life sucks 18 584

You deserved it 40 574

Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 372

You deserved it 4 556