Miscellaneous: Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By pistonchamp159 - 28/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 723

You deserved it 9 932

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 825

You deserved it 3 870

Wake up call

By das_shizzle - 05/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 275

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 000

You deserved it 5 288

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 967

You deserved it 6 540

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 464

You deserved it 812

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 258

By Allie cat - 02/12/2016 13:43

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 484

You deserved it 1 581

How deep is it?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 01:00

Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 280

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 212

You deserved it 4 269

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 611

You deserved it 4 985

Next

Top comments

Fredzter 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:19

HAHAHA!! He is my hero! If you don't want him, I'll take him!! :D

iDemonChild 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:21

Lol. Whipped cream and tickling your nose... Classic. =D

Comments

ellysa_fml 0

Friday 28 August 2009 22:25

I like your bf

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 28 August 2009 22:30

HAH! You know, I was going to point that out myself ("at least it wasn't shaving cream"). Whip cream I think implies he was trying to be cute.

iljajlm 4

Friday 28 August 2009 22:46

How is this an FML? Okay your husband is trying to mix it up by playing a cute prank. What's the problem again? FYL for not having a fun laid back personality like your husband. The only way I could see this being an FML is if you had to wake up early for something important like a meeting or whatnot. But other than that get over it.

sweatteaforme001 0

Friday 28 August 2009 22:57

Today, I woke my wife up by putting whipped cream in hand and tickling her nose. I thought it was funny, but she did not and huffed & puffed about it on the internet. I made a life commitment to someone who apparently has no sense of humor. FML.

mister_moops 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:01

wow. wow. WOW. MOTHERFUCKING WOW. it's a ******* age old prank. it's in good fun. this is nowhere close to an fml. op, you're a stupid complaining bitch. get a ******* sense of humor.

lilbuddy23 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:17

win

lastminuteperm 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:50

Oh no...your life is surely ****** now. How will you live?

BulletStreet 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:56

O no, your husband has a sense of humor, your life is ****** now!

mndz_mkl 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:11

WIN!!

hardrocktobi 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:22

EPIC WIN He's awesome

LBUJenni_18 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:36

Wow, you have no sense of humor.

tbhagg 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:57

he's awesome, but this isn't an fml...

6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Relatable Periods Money Transportation Cars Animals Cats Embarrassing Neighbours Miscellaneous Kids Parenting Ironic Birthday Love Surprise Cute Awkward Shopping Exhausted Work Job interview Scary Argument Romantic Family Annoying Gross Weird

The Top

Today, my daughter got her first period. I'm the one shaking and hyperventilating. I'm more nervous for her than I was for myself back when I got my first period. I just now understand my mom while she was pacing through house back and forward when I got my first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 350

Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 102

The Top

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 460

You deserved it 3 067

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 800

You deserved it 3 884

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 644

You deserved it 3 074

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 129

Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 110

Today, a close friend called me to inform me of his newest relationship, and why he's kept it from me - he's been seeing his male cousin for several months and was tired of hiding it from the world. I had to keep my shock in check over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 157