Health: Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets... - FML

By smh - 15/07/2014 20:11 - United States

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 027

You deserved it 4 295

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Same thing different taste

By johnny121 - 01/01/2010 19:14 - France

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 044

You deserved it 2 661

By cantunhear - 20/12/2014 03:16 - United States - Fishkill

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 235

You deserved it 2 464

Such a Saint

By hungry/grumpy/disabled - 17/07/2022 12:00

Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 05:08 - United States - Surprise

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 792

You deserved it 1 905

It hurts

By postop - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 328

You deserved it 2 112

Hard shoulder

By me. - 11/07/2016 03:00 - United States - Norman

Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 761

You deserved it 742

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 523

You deserved it 2 988

By SickOfYourShit - 16/12/2015 15:41 - United States - Kennewick

Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 287

You deserved it 2 984

By gerbilmaster - 09/07/2015 21:12 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 365

You deserved it 1 847

By justhelpful - 02/07/2012 17:44 - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 033

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:25

Loser has to stay or winner gets to stay? Big difference.

vikky538 28

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:23

parents these days... sorrt OP.. hope the surgery goes well..

Comments

headofmedusa 15

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:31

Who lost?

ImmaAstronomer 3

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:33

Hope you recover fast and easy, sorry about your parents not caring, they should you're their child, and they should both stay.

Vagitarian1 10

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:33

A simple coin flip would have sufficed.

JMichael 25

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:34

Play against them and if you beat them both they both gotta stay

pwnman 33

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:35

Why was the FML with the eye injury deleted? Had a good pun that would've made me get many likes! Also, I'm sorry about what's going on, OP.

saint_josephine 6

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:35

wait was it where the winner got to stay. or where the winner got to leave?? that way I know whether or not to think your parents are jerks.

Phoebe18 14

Wednesday 16 July 2014 2:43

I think it's safe to assume that the loser has to stay, if it was the winner getting to stay I highly doubt this would have been a FML. Parents competing over who gets to stay is good, parents who compete over who has to stay is bad. There's a difference

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:36

better than flipping a coin. hope they went 2 out of 3. and did loser stay with you or winner. either way it sucks for them.

miliaras93 17

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:47

Thats harsh

stopthestupid 5

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:59

In their defense, staying in a hospital overnight really sucks.

lasagnanarcotics 14

Wednesday 16 July 2014 0:07

Wow, your parents must really love you!:)

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The Top

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 434

You deserved it 6 822

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I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 612

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 162

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I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 193

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 266

You deserved it 42 375

Today, my wife is mad at me because she claims I don’t spend any time bonding with her son. It’s as though she refuses to understand that just because we are in different rooms, on separate PlayStations, doesn’t mean we’re not playing the same game, and talking through headphones for hours at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 223

Today, I went to make coffee, but having just woken up, I forgot the paper filter. You can guess what was in my coffee… FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 289

Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 878

You deserved it 282