Health: Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets... - FML

By smh - 15/07/2014 20:11 - United States

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 028

You deserved it 4 295

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By johnny121 - 01/01/2010 19:14 - France

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 046

You deserved it 2 661

By cantunhear - 20/12/2014 03:16 - United States - Fishkill

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 235

You deserved it 2 464

Such a Saint

By hungry/grumpy/disabled - 17/07/2022 12:00

Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 05:08 - United States - Surprise

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 794

You deserved it 1 905

It hurts

By postop - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 330

You deserved it 2 112

Hard shoulder

By me. - 11/07/2016 03:00 - United States - Norman

Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 761

You deserved it 742

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 523

You deserved it 2 988

By SickOfYourShit - 16/12/2015 15:41 - United States - Kennewick

Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 289

You deserved it 2 984

By gerbilmaster - 09/07/2015 21:12 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 366

You deserved it 1 847

By justhelpful - 02/07/2012 17:44 - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 033

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:25

Loser has to stay or winner gets to stay? Big difference.

vikky538 28

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:23

parents these days... sorrt OP.. hope the surgery goes well..

Comments

headofmedusa 15

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:31

Who lost?

ImmaAstronomer 3

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:33

Hope you recover fast and easy, sorry about your parents not caring, they should you're their child, and they should both stay.

Vagitarian1 10

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:33

A simple coin flip would have sufficed.

JMichael 25

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:34

Play against them and if you beat them both they both gotta stay

pwnman 33

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:35

Why was the FML with the eye injury deleted? Had a good pun that would've made me get many likes! Also, I'm sorry about what's going on, OP.

saint_josephine 6

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:35

wait was it where the winner got to stay. or where the winner got to leave?? that way I know whether or not to think your parents are jerks.

Phoebe18 14

Wednesday 16 July 2014 2:43

I think it's safe to assume that the loser has to stay, if it was the winner getting to stay I highly doubt this would have been a FML. Parents competing over who gets to stay is good, parents who compete over who has to stay is bad. There's a difference

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:36

better than flipping a coin. hope they went 2 out of 3. and did loser stay with you or winner. either way it sucks for them.

miliaras93 17

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:47

Thats harsh

stopthestupid 5

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:59

In their defense, staying in a hospital overnight really sucks.

lasagnanarcotics 14

Wednesday 16 July 2014 0:07

Wow, your parents must really love you!:)

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 6 604

The Top

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 500

You deserved it 2 722

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 013

You deserved it 4 134

Today, after having set up a date with a wonderful guy who seems to really like me, I caught a cold. I have also lost most of my voice because of it, so I now sound like an angry, deranged goose when I talk. This will be the first time he meets me in person. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 671

You deserved it 379

Today, while at work, I felt what I thought was a ball of lint on the back of my neck. I reached back and grabbed it only to end up holding the biggest wolf spider I've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 073

You deserved it 236

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 822

You deserved it 110 494

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 559

You deserved it 2 718