Miscellaneous: Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

By Jess - 30/05/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 085

You deserved it 5 036

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Inappropriate

By Pandistoteles - 14/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonald's but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 540

You deserved it 2 729

By cookie_lover_xx - 15/10/2015 06:24 - United States - Chandler

Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 567

You deserved it 2 054

By dancingqueef - 22/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Kingston

Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 756

You deserved it 1 195

By DrunkenMum - 20/07/2019 12:00

Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 111

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 122

By Messiahman - 30/10/2011 01:31 - United States

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 34 063

Sips unsee juice

By Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 349

By Anonymous - 26/07/2019 04:00

Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 873

You deserved it 146

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 156

You deserved it 4 220

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 191

You deserved it 727

khaya 9

Monday 30 May 2011 18:58

Well it could have been worse, she could have started to strip and then demand money.

barmeywashere 0

Monday 30 May 2011 18:58

Speechless o.o

Comments

missemolove 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 8:27

well....then....i really cant help with this....hopefully no1 saw it?

aznbeauty250 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 10:33

well the taxpayers that paid for that playground got their monies worth! lmao

AunteyN 4

Tuesday 31 May 2011 11:36

I'v always wanted to try that

Zekumi 2

Tuesday 31 May 2011 12:12

I firmly believe there are about 500 people who come to FML and hit "You Totally Deserved It" no matter what the entry is.

lottarake 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 14:26

Hopefully the kids weren't paying attention!

ohowe 1

Tuesday 31 May 2011 16:36

I need to see pictures of mom before I can decide on how to grade this FML story.

dunkme2 4

Tuesday 31 May 2011 17:27

WHOOP WHOOP!

alexxalexx88 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 18:31

was she good?!?!

Magnimus 4

Tuesday 31 May 2011 19:45

I'd like to meet your mom. From now on you can call me papa.

TKrisha_fml 5

Tuesday 31 May 2011 20:48

. . . .

Keywords

Relatable Art Work Family Kids Parents Animals Cats Money Miscellaneous Health Skincare Neighbours Party Cops Love Crush Awkward Furniture Embarrassing Argument Cute Romantic Roommate Stuck Clothes Shoes Mental health I need your advice Insurance

The Top

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 118

You deserved it 3 239

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 066

You deserved it 3 521

The Top

Today, my phone alarm went off at 3 AM. I don't remember setting it, but it turns out I'd somehow activated an old "Wake up for a meteor shower" reminder. Despite it being the wrong day by months, I got up, looked outside, and only then did my brain kick into gear and I realized it was set for the wrong date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 182

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 159

You deserved it 21 505

Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 301

You deserved it 36 993

Today, I left my job, fulfilling my one month's notice after receiving a job offer from a much better-paying role. After saying goodbye to everyone, I left the building. Not two minutes later, the company who was offering the new job called to say they'd changed their minds, and there was now no longer a job on offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 142

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 974

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 569

You deserved it 3 394

Same thing different taste

Inappropriate

Sips unsee juice

Top comments

Comments