Miscellaneous: Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

By Jess - 30/05/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 084

You deserved it 5 036

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Same thing different taste

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By Pandistoteles - 14/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonald's but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 540

You deserved it 2 729

By cookie_lover_xx - 15/10/2015 06:24 - United States - Chandler

Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 567

You deserved it 2 054

By dancingqueef - 22/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Kingston

Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 756

You deserved it 1 195

By DrunkenMum - 20/07/2019 12:00

Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 111

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 122

By Messiahman - 30/10/2011 01:31 - United States

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 34 063

Sips unsee juice

By Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 349

By Anonymous - 26/07/2019 04:00

Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 873

You deserved it 146

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 155

You deserved it 4 220

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 191

You deserved it 727

khaya 9

Monday 30 May 2011 18:58

Well it could have been worse, she could have started to strip and then demand money.

barmeywashere 0

Monday 30 May 2011 18:58

Speechless o.o

Comments

alexsmokesdro91 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:22

I bet you have quite a few siblings.

barmeywashere 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:30

WIN ^^

mrpager 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:25

name? haha

krystina_gee 2

Monday 30 May 2011 21:32

I am also speechless.

YayaInLalaLand 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:35

That's hot. Tell her to hit me up(;

JapanesyBreezy 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:44

Today, little Timmy became a man. MLIG

Djzom13 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:49

You mist have a good future

Skeleton_fml 1

Monday 30 May 2011 21:49

^_^ suxx to suck

tylr6024 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:50

at*

bigred7070 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:53

that's hot

danx900 7

Monday 30 May 2011 21:53

wow

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 325

You deserved it 4 035

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 787

You deserved it 22 726

The Top

Today, despite having made it clear that I'm neither interested, nor I am able to take over the jobs of the 3 members of staff who have recently left, my boss made a "Progress Plan" for me and will check on it weekly. I'm getting paid 1.5 times less than average in my role and he's not giving me a raise because the company is stingy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 177

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 312

You deserved it 4 727

Today, I had a lovely gluten-free pizza out at a local restaurant. After I'd finished, they informed me it wasn't in fact gluten-free. I am Celiac and this means I will be ill for the next six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 747

You deserved it 351

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 496

You deserved it 18 442

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 115

You deserved it 8 396

Today, a nurse berated me for not being able to lift my leg myself so she could put a cast on. My leg is broken in two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 454

You deserved it 283

Same thing different taste

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