Intimacy: Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought...

By anonymous.. - 03/09/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 110

You deserved it 4 458

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Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 689

You deserved it 6 206

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 4 059

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

Whiter shade of pale

By pinecones - 02/02/2015 14:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 717

You deserved it 14 860

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 450

You deserved it 4 166

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 128

Third on the podium

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - Pakistan

Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 144

By for fuck sake dad - 02/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 983

You deserved it 3 474

America! F*** yeah!

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 228

You deserved it 7 219

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 5 095

TysonBrown 0

Friday 3 September 2010 9:38

... grow up baby, ur parents ****! deal with it!

perdix 29

Friday 3 September 2010 10:17

I'll bet the OP means "scarred" for life. Just another instance where some Internet dummy doesn't know that doubling a letter can change the whole meaning of a sentence. What a looser! So, Casper the Friendly Ghost wasn't wearing his raincoat when he entered Mom's dark, moist, scary haunted mansion!

Comments

underguarded 20

Friday 3 September 2010 9:55

I forgot parents aren't actually people

fernandita91 0

Friday 3 September 2010 9:55

I don't get it

LOLatU87 0

Friday 3 September 2010 9:58

FML for reading this crap FML you are probably 11 so I guess I forgive you

HeatherXCore 0

Friday 3 September 2010 10:12

Ghost costume= condom. No protection. OP was conceived.

Phustercluck 11

Friday 3 September 2010 10:45

holy ****, I totally didn't catch the "ghost costume" thing, ty for completing my day!

KylAisAmazingG 0

Friday 3 September 2010 10:05

awesome mom you have!! :)

astroid714 0

Friday 3 September 2010 10:07

I saw my mom blowing my dad .... she quickly pretended to massage his feet I just took off..fyl pshhh fml bahahah I was baked so the akwardness multiplyed ...ahhhh

A_Khalifa 0

Friday 3 September 2010 10:09

wow don't be such a wuss about it

perdix 29

Friday 3 September 2010 10:17

blocparty 0

Friday 3 September 2010 11:36

looser, trying to be ironic or do you actually not know its loser?

ladyluck82 9

Friday 3 September 2010 12:12

47 - are you SERIOUSLY having a go at PERDIX?!?! Yeah...I guess you're not an 'FML Regular' lmao.

ladyluck82 9

Friday 3 September 2010 12:14

47 - are you SERIOUSLY having a go at PERDIX?!?! I guess you're not an 'FML Regular'? lmao

kritz0 10

Friday 3 September 2010 16:11

uhm....#47...obviously there was a REASON for the double o...did you not ******* read what they said beforehand? Holy ****...you are an idiot.

MadisonEstrada 1

Sunday 5 September 2010 1:28

umm #35... remember when you said doubling a letter can change the whole meaning of a sentence? yeah you should have known that the word loser doesn't have a double O. you my friend, fail at life :)