Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine"...

By Username - 06/07/2011 02:54 - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 396

You deserved it 4 101

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Same thing different taste

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 419

You deserved it 2 464

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 999

By karmaquestionmark - 20/11/2012 02:04 - United States - Silverton

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 128

You deserved it 36 909

Delusional

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 119

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 276

You deserved it 4 269

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 205

You deserved it 3 021

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 734

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 657

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 2 715

ilovecookies83 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:42

Get her help :|

Doortje 29

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:43

Sounds like a great deal.

Comments

magikarpman 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:29

wtf?

scruffy_janitor5 1

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:36

was she on cocaine?

soulfulemo 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 7:45

she was doing rice. get it right

truehitman2010 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:48

she's a Ginger trying to steal your soul!

ramseyrutherford 2

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:53

and people think only the children are crazy

care_bear_hugs 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:59

how is this fml?? this is just stupid

towelyey 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 10:02

dude. i love your mom. xD

insanity211 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 10:04

someone is high on rice

T0bieLar0ne 4

Wednesday 6 July 2011 10:05

Do you know how much coke a soul can fetch these days? Your mom is teaching you a valuable lesson in economics, try not to be so snotty about it.

MurphyS94 4

Wednesday 6 July 2011 10:07

Hm... so THAT'S what happens when you snort rice... I've always been curious.

chosha_fml 26

Wednesday 6 July 2011 10:12

Sounds like an object lesson in a religious class.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 181

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 196

Parenthood is no joke.

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 107

Today, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and confided in my mom, after being told I would have trouble having kids. Five minutes later, I hear the whole family laughing about it downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 100

Today, my soon-to-be ex-wife decided she'll be moving into my apartment complex. She always goes out of her way to pick fights with me every chance she gets, has alienated my children from me and has made what should be a very simple divorce into a ridiculously long and contentious one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 645

You deserved it 989

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 43 977

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 721

You deserved it 6 022

Same thing different taste

Boozehound

Delusional

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