Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine"...

By Username - 06/07/2011 02:54 - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 396

You deserved it 4 101

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Same thing different taste

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 419

You deserved it 2 464

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 999

By karmaquestionmark - 20/11/2012 02:04 - United States - Silverton

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 128

You deserved it 36 909

Delusional

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 119

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 276

You deserved it 4 269

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 205

You deserved it 3 021

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 734

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 657

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 2 715

ilovecookies83 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:42

Get her help :|

Doortje 29

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:43

Sounds like a great deal.

Comments

TheHerpDerp 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:16

Your mom is awesome.

WHOWASTHEPHONE 10

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:16

Sounds like a deal.

amanda_d95 9

Sunday 27 November 2011 22:21

******* love Skins. UK version was much better tho

EmmaLiSylvest 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:16

that kinda wierd..4

feanor15 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:17

haha that 'crack'ed me up!

magikarpman 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:18

lol my mom did the exact thing except the drug was Charlie sheen and in exchange I gave her Adonis DNA

Slackness 10

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:19

Think you be needin' to talk to your uncle Ben.

MeganParaMonster 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:24

she was probably just joking around, or she's actually crazy 0_o

magikarpman 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:26

haha just like to put out there that I find you sexually attractive

lionandthelamb61 9

Wednesday 6 July 2011 12:54

I guess that whole "I'm taking a dump" face thing does it for you...

ThanksKarma 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 15:16

136-Three words. No room to talk.

ThanksKarma 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 15:19

I can only count to three but you get my point.

MurphyS94 4

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:50

136- Seriously, there's nothing more annoying then someone who insults another person's picture.

mintcar 9

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:25

WTF are you talking about? I love your mom.

skullman870 1

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:26

by the sounds of it it was probably a test to see If you were addicted to drugs or not

XxThrasherxX 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:26

Well if your a ginger then you cant give her your soul

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 088

You deserved it 13 428

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 291

You deserved it 27 124

Today, during sex I blurted out, “Oh god yes, put a baby in me!” He lost his boner instantly because he doesn’t want kids. I don’t even know why I said it, I don’t want kids either. In fact I warned him before we started dating that I never want kids, so if he did want kids he should date someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 670

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 323

Today, I used one of my ex-coworkers as a reference. She gave a really bad review about me, causing me to miss out on the job opportunity of a lifetime, all because she’s still upset I wore the same dress as her at the company holiday gala two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 295

Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 204

You deserved it 7 417

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 367

Same thing different taste

Boozehound

Delusional

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