Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine"...

By Username - 06/07/2011 02:54 - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 396

You deserved it 4 101

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Same thing different taste

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 419

You deserved it 2 464

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 999

By karmaquestionmark - 20/11/2012 02:04 - United States - Silverton

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 128

You deserved it 36 909

Delusional

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 119

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 276

You deserved it 4 269

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 205

You deserved it 3 021

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 734

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 657

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 2 715

ilovecookies83 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:42

Get her help :|

Doortje 29

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:43

Sounds like a great deal.

Comments

Skorne 5

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:58

Good thing you're not a ginger, otherwise you would've just got an empty bag.

YFDIOP 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 6:14

LMAO

iloveparc 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:02

maybe she could use sone legit rock

Blamco177 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:02

So, did you trade?

Lil_Killah 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:03

you mom sound kool?? O.o

kduubb 7

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:05

umm ..is your mom alrite?

GRUNT_5th_MAR 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 21:10

hey what's up

manbearpig7173 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:06

Sounds legit.

bruslywrestler 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:09

I woulda agreed

bebe088 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:10

1 word. Physiatrist.

lionandthelamb61 9

Wednesday 6 July 2011 12:49

Hahahaha, oh geeze, you're lucky you're pretty. If that's even you...

whiterabbit420 4

Wednesday 6 July 2011 14:41

psychiatrist

Archie92 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:11

Bet you found it was rice after you accepted the trade.

RSimpson 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:13

psstt ITS A TRAP. and does this show how much ur soul is worth. XD lmaoo. srry its funny!!

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The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 524

You deserved it 1 300

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 551

You deserved it 49 634

The Top

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 254

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 165

You deserved it 3 307

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 749

You deserved it 3 556

Today, I checked my Tumblr account to see if anyone had commented on the photos of my new tattoo. There were only 3 posts, and 2 of them were people linking it to "Awful Tattoo" blogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 011

You deserved it 6 283

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 619

You deserved it 30 231

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 087

You deserved it 2 512

Same thing different taste

Boozehound

Delusional

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