Kids: Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I...

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 708

You deserved it 4 741

Cyber Monday: Clicks and Quiproquos
When technology meets shopping, expect stories as surprising as an unexpected click! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 556

You deserved it 737

Locks are useful

By mjayne17 - 21/03/2009 19:04 - Canada

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walked in. After a long, awkward pause, she said, "I like your socks" and walked out. She's a teacher at my high school. I have to see her every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 023

You deserved it 22 282

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 146

You deserved it 4 218

This is fine

By TheywearintheDIRTYlaundrybasket! - 26/03/2019 22:00

Today, I walked into the house I share with my boyfriend and found his mum sashaying up and down the hall. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to tell me where you get your underwear from!" Yep, she was wearing my panties. Neither she nor her son could see why I would be upset by that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 563

You deserved it 223

By Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 632

You deserved it 18 550

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 386

You deserved it 103 229

By wnrz - 18/02/2012 20:26 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 838

You deserved it 4 835

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 585

You deserved it 3 500

Mom won this one

By duuuuude - 17/04/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 993

You deserved it 23 324

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 241

You deserved it 3 808

Nyx_fml 23

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:05

There's nothing like condom talk with your mother.

tanekdrachonae 19

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:12

It's ok, I was an accident too. We should be friends.

Comments

kiwigirl11 3

Thursday 3 October 2013 8:31

Loled. That's terrible hahaha

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Lonely Halloween Wanker Jealousy Love Party Fight Family Argument Animals Cats Parents Sports Embarrassing Health Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 296

You deserved it 2 147

The Top

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 208

You deserved it 24 731

Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 657

You deserved it 23 896

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 861

You deserved it 30 571

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 356

You deserved it 6 169

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 634

You deserved it 3 509

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 084

You deserved it 7 120