Intimacy: Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg...

By Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 797

You deserved it 44 314

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

Knackered

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 08:01

Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 232

Big Mac

By Raiden - 10/03/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonald's everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 591

You deserved it 5 355

TMI

By Autumn - 18/12/2017 01:30

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 326

You deserved it 421

By mynameislor - 09/02/2010 14:26 - Canada

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 7 425

By iGreen - 09/07/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 545

You deserved it 3 629

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 560

You deserved it 17 497

By preggo - 04/12/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 998

You deserved it 4 195

By concernedson - 12/09/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 571

You deserved it 4 942

Meat

By ohmyx3 - 30/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 624

You deserved it 10 070

Awahso 25

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:19

Okay, come on now. That's hilarious.

ICATiger 13

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:20

Tell her carrots make you horny.

Comments

mack_the_knife 3

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:59

Well worth it, if you ask me.

zafire93 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 23:21

that's a win for your mom!

ShakiraShakira 7

Monday 9 January 2012 0:16

Lmao your mum is awesome!

lishy1311 0

Monday 9 January 2012 3:41

Lol!

nickyz85 0

Monday 9 January 2012 4:16

i would be like bitch im gettin some u mad bro jk i love your mom

TECC 4

Monday 9 January 2012 4:23

mind your own business old lady

bajiaromero 0

Monday 9 January 2012 4:38

Hope you like carrots! ;)

sammis 0

Monday 9 January 2012 4:55

Use the carrots as "toys" ;) Or buy ur mom a box of dog treats and tell her she'll get one every time she's a bitch.

magman14 0

Monday 9 January 2012 5:48

That's genius!

Nyankat5 0

Monday 9 January 2012 8:38

I don't see how this is an FML... 1)You're getting laid a alot apparently 2)Carrots are good and healthy 3)Keeping a healthy body with the carrots will make your partner more attracted to you 4)30 Mins of sex burns off calories 5)Since you burned off calories and are keeping a healthy body your partner will want more 6)When your done,eat a carrot and the cycle starts again