Intimacy: Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around...

By peniswoman - 14/07/2013 17:03 - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 035

You deserved it 18 338

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Same thing different taste

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 116

You deserved it 6 511

By Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 625

You deserved it 9 579

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 283

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

By stillhungry - 27/06/2015 18:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 523

You deserved it 3 984

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 368

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 11 071

By cmore - 11/03/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 062

You deserved it 5 652

By Notaplacetogo - 17/02/2013 06:45 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 673

You deserved it 10 120

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 932

You deserved it 10 195

mkid232 15

Monday 15 July 2013 0:23

Wow, you sound like a bundle of fun, OP...

zed34 18

Monday 15 July 2013 0:23

Men will be boys!

Comments

musikchik 6

Monday 15 July 2013 1:03

All men are immature. A lot just know how to hide it in public.

katties 27

Monday 15 July 2013 1:06

I find what he did pretty funny, actually... I wouldn't complain if my boyfriend did the same, just continue the whole thing with having even more fun :/ I think it's healthy to be a little immature sometimes

Bunny21 11

Monday 15 July 2013 1:11

Hey this sounds like the first round of fun sex! Smh lighten up OP, we only live once!!!!

chocolatefrog28 29

Monday 15 July 2013 1:22

I agree, time to have some fun. He was being spontaneous, you should have grabbed a towel/cape for yourself, stripped down and started a motorboat ride while announcing yourself as Super Fun-Bags

Fuji76 15

Monday 15 July 2013 2:52

Maybe OP doesn't have super fun bags and that's why she's a prude, just sayin'

Dallyni 22

Monday 15 July 2013 1:51

They are the same thing!

bubble_burst 16

Monday 15 July 2013 1:51

penisman -1, peniswoman-0

TheAuditor 4

Saturday 10 August 2013 18:43

It's a trap!

SamanthaNGoree 10

Monday 15 July 2013 2:00

Wow, I can't imagine the the tons of fun you must be, OP. have a little fun, he's just playing around.

KayAnn19 10

Monday 15 July 2013 2:00

Good sense of humor. My fiancé is the same way. Enjoy it!

pnutbutternjelly 15

Monday 15 July 2013 2:05

Lots of guys do this, including my fiance. He will joke around and penis slap me and I'll laugh and usually tackle him and wrestle with him and we will have lots of fun. I definitely don't think this is much of a fml moment. He just has a good sense of humor.