Intimacy: Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around...

By peniswoman - 14/07/2013 17:03 - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 045

You deserved it 18 347

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Same thing different taste

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 120

You deserved it 6 513

Breaking news

By Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 697

You deserved it 9 601

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 170

You deserved it 290

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 201

You deserved it 9 744

By stillhungry - 27/06/2015 18:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 528

You deserved it 3 985

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 371

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 507

You deserved it 11 072

Discontent

By cmore - 11/03/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 177

You deserved it 5 663

By Notaplacetogo - 17/02/2013 06:45 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 676

You deserved it 10 122

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 937

You deserved it 10 203

mkid232 15

Monday 15 July 2013 0:23

Wow, you sound like a bundle of fun, OP...

zed34 18

Monday 15 July 2013 0:23

Men will be boys!

Comments

Rethinkyourlife 1

Monday 15 July 2013 2:12

I mean I think it's hilarious. Imma do this to my wife

InuwindoW 13

Monday 15 July 2013 2:12

Grow up you up tight wanker, that's funny no matter who ya are!

Futacy 29

Monday 15 July 2013 2:24

OP's boyfriend should've kept his wanker inside.

sammyjanette 17

Monday 15 July 2013 2:25

I didn't realize that there was only one way to be fun or just one type of humor. If OP doesn't find what her boyfriend did funny it doesn't mean that she's cold, frigid, or a stick in the mud. It means that they find different things amusing. Why are people ridiculed when they are more reserved about sex, but when they are open and wild everyone praises them? Neither way is better than the other, and people's choices about the matter should be respected.

Axel5238 29

Monday 15 July 2013 9:22

Agreed some don't find that stuff funny. That sense of humor for me anyway can get pretty grating after a while. Any joke can get old if it's over done. I'm guessing from the OP's less than thrilled response that if he maybe does stuff like this on the regular and has gotten sick of dick jokes and that type of humor doesn't mean she doesn't have a sense of humor.

Ins0mau 20

Tuesday 16 July 2013 11:19

Okay so you/OP might have different sense of humour. That doesn't mean OP should insult him or think less of him.

Erery 16

Monday 15 July 2013 2:36

Idk I guess I'm crazy but I like a man with a childish humor.

vanaathiel 13

Monday 15 July 2013 2:48

I have a sense of humor. My boyfriend also has a sense of humor, but if he ever walked up to me and slapped me with his junk I would not be amused.

Fuji76 15

Monday 15 July 2013 2:58

Can't blame a guy for trying! I try to give my wife a mushroom stamp as often as I can. Mushrooms are good for your complexion!

rokolodo 10

Monday 15 July 2013 3:05

Better than fartman. You lucky girl!

sidvand 2

Monday 15 July 2013 18:16

He can't be Farman...I already married him!!! Lol

utlanning 9

Monday 15 July 2013 3:06

Still don't think that's a valid reason to get off on him.

pandalover69 26

Monday 15 July 2013 3:28

That sounds like something my ex would do. That's not even close to the reason I dumped him. I thought his similar antics were funny, grow a funny bone, he was just being dumb.