Intimacy: Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother... - FML

By UGH - 31/08/2009 23:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 136

You deserved it 2 927

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Same thing different taste

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 692

You deserved it 6 206

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 207

You deserved it 794

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 229

By lm - 20/05/2009 20:49 - Ireland

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 695

You deserved it 3 994

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Spicy

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 716

You deserved it 32 193

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 279

You deserved it 3 332

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 374

You deserved it 3 881

Gentle

By Ash_The_Unicorn - 20/08/2020 14:05

Today, after losing my father a little over 6 months ago, and finally feeling comfortable talking to my fiancé (who lives with me and my family) about it, my mother forced her way into the room and started yelling at me for crying. Her excuse, "It’s after your bedtime." I’m 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 959

You deserved it 481

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 149

You deserved it 3 335

Next

Top comments

Dynoblaze 1

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:53

Maybe having sex with your dad was a nightmare for her.......

Khalavaster 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:46

one day you'll be one too :)

Comments

visage 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 19:22

Ummm, you don't know the difference between terrified screams and an orgasim? You need to crawl out from under your rock more often.

asnider 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 22:45

#33 - Her parents probably told her about the "nightmares" when she was very young, so she never clued in as she got older, until they told her the truth.

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 19:53

visage, you can't spell ******? you need to crawl out from under your rock more often.

dncroy 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:01

haha lol.. this is gonna make me have sweet dreams now :D

lady307 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 20:11

haha this shit brightened my day! thanks for the laugh!

ragsy 7

Tuesday 1 September 2009 21:17

Wow, you are gullible.

shootingstar8D 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 21:37

EWww disturbing

tony8pie 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 21:51

No one is EVER old enough to know something like that! So sorry...

CL41RE 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 21:53

EVERY NIGHT?

Hockeylover87_71 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 22:44

HAHAHA! i laughed :)

JokingJoe 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:33

same as #42 :] bummer

nicomij 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:57

cover ur ears and stop complaining

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, I lost my job for taking an unauthorized vacation. I just got married and requested time off for the wedding and honeymoon months ago; it was approved then. They forgot, and then got angry because I didn't remind them. I did remind them, the day before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 379

You deserved it 2 670

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 856

You deserved it 27 155

The Top

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 726

You deserved it 3 123

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 075

You deserved it 5 146

Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 856

Today, I rear-ended someone while trying to watch my odometer hit 80,000 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 7 401

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 707

You deserved it 3 857

Today, I was called an 'unhelpful little bitch' by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn't order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it's a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 898

You deserved it 2 465