Intimacy: Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother... - FML

By UGH - 31/08/2009 23:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 132

You deserved it 2 924

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Same thing different taste

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 689

You deserved it 6 206

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 205

You deserved it 791

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 226

By lm - 20/05/2009 20:49 - Ireland

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 691

You deserved it 3 991

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Spicy

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 711

You deserved it 32 181

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 260

You deserved it 3 323

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 372

You deserved it 3 881

Gentle

By Ash_The_Unicorn - 20/08/2020 14:05

Today, after losing my father a little over 6 months ago, and finally feeling comfortable talking to my fiancé (who lives with me and my family) about it, my mother forced her way into the room and started yelling at me for crying. Her excuse, "It’s after your bedtime." I’m 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 480

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 140

You deserved it 3 334

Next

Top comments

Dynoblaze 1

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:53

Maybe having sex with your dad was a nightmare for her.......

Khalavaster 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:46

one day you'll be one too :)

Comments

sexymessy 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:12

lol.If you believed that the whole time they should of just kept it a secret.Be sure to buy sone headphones lol

MissJlk 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:14

Too funny

19lollipop96 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:22

how old r u? and yaaaa I know how that can bee ralpphhyyyyy(: ha I only use the iPod touch appp!(:

sd_fan46 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:35

No you have nightmares

liquidbunny 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:41

Haha, your dad is still gettin dem drawls. It's effing nasty for you, hilarious for the rest of us. But look at the bright side your parents are still together at least enough to have good sex.

jessicadawg 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:42

FYL. That's way too much information. Can you say awkward silence?

Eelusive 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:56

Go mom!!!!

KillU2009 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 9:18

Go Dad!

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 9:40

Uhm, yeah, awkward. You really didn't need to know that. I didn't either xD

Noah_h 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 9:53

moaning/screaming = ******

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to work 8:30 am. Human stayed home. Got home at 5pm. Human is working on his music at home. It is 7:11 pm and Human is still on his computer working on the same song, on replay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 342

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 699

You deserved it 52 078

The Top

Today, I found out that the stiffness I've been feeling in my hand is arthritis and that it's only going to get worse. Not only do I type for my job, I'm also 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 72

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 958

You deserved it 3 068

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 938

You deserved it 4 042

Today, my girlfriend once again insisted that she didn't have a problem with my gaming. Considering that every day I find my PC desk covered in junk, and all my consoles disconnected, somehow I don't think she's telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 311

Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 157

You deserved it 17 805