Health: Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants...

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By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 7 713

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Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 537

You deserved it 10 689

By Anonymous - 20/01/2012 23:33 - France

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 878

You deserved it 5 463

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 601

You deserved it 22 047

By Jac - 17/01/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 787

You deserved it 32 834

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 023

You deserved it 9 982

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 317

You deserved it 21 680

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 467

You deserved it 3 720

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 334

You deserved it 2 857

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 285

Ripper

By Pantess at work - 30/03/2021 16:00 - United States

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 151

fml212121 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 23:43

schlong

Fedor_fml 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 23:46

Fatality!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

dinosauring 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:07

ydi for being a dumbass. but did you bleed?

Queen_Naiomi 2

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:33

This made me LOL so hard

buggybeauty 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:36

ROFL! Finish Him!!! sorry, dude.

pottie69 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:51

ydi just for saying schlong

iluvjk13 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:52

Schlong?? hahaha. and niceee.

sublimedude777 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 5:43

My schlong once went into Mortal Kombat with a girl's mouth. She won, but she couldn't "Finish him". :(

madskillz3088 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 5:56

34 is a fat bitch.. that's why the flick has to be up close to her **** or else people would me a funny about her :) ****** bitch is trollin!!

iranoutofnames 6

Wednesday 17 March 2010 6:00

FINISH HIM!

stewpididiot 11

Wednesday 17 March 2010 6:07

152, 156,

stewpididiot 11

Wednesday 17 March 2010 6:11

cut off , yet, again, feh!?!?

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Today, a friend of mine asked me to proofread her essay. "Don't hold back," she said. I took a look at it. It looked like it was written by a third grader, and she's in college. After spending a huge amount of time marking all of her mistakes, I gave it back. She got upset at me for being "extremely critical." FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 80

Today, I got back home after I decided on a whim to embark on a solo adventure in the Australian Outback. My truck got stranded due to rising floodwaters, and I was stuck for days without communication. Rescue finally came, but now I'm reconsidering any solo further trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 332

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 928

You deserved it 92 846

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 263

You deserved it 1 752

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 370

You deserved it 23 139

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 647

You deserved it 43 254

Today, I realized that my lack of body hygiene reached a new high when I discovered a pimple growing on my penis, which I now know is genital acne. It hurts to sit down or touch my penis in any way. The worst part is that I am only thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 787

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 3 493

Same thing different taste

Unexpected

Ripper

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