Miscellaneous: Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've...

By forkmylife - 19/05/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 4 420

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Same thing different taste

I'm new to this, sorry

By Fifi - 01/09/2023 06:00

Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 432

By Anonymous - 17/03/2012 15:53 - United States

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 429

You deserved it 7 812

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 920

You deserved it 15 488

By black_commet08 - 10/02/2010 05:11 - France

Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 778

You deserved it 4 884

Fork that

By SpooningLeadstoForking - 29/06/2017 00:00

Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 377

You deserved it 1 596

By huwauw - 17/09/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 990

You deserved it 7 336

Thanks Mom

By megangubler - 26/05/2014 22:34 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 699

You deserved it 5 291

Chair club

By Eleanor - 06/05/2019 08:00 - United States - North Grafton

Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 149

By leah_kascar - 22/08/2016 01:45 - United States - Hialeah

Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 014

You deserved it 2 386

By Killmenow - 30/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 921

You deserved it 249

Olovio 5

Friday 20 May 2011 1:17

Bet you can't wait for sporks!

W0 0

Friday 20 May 2011 1:18

Fork your life!!

Comments

Mahkymahk 0

Friday 20 May 2011 3:32

and what school do you go to...?

redneck14 11

Monday 23 May 2011 3:17

stalker..

Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0

Friday 20 May 2011 3:38

hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands cause they spooning everybody out there! ;)

Nick_1993 2

Friday 20 May 2011 3:39

That actually sounds sooo entertaining for my childish mind.

bargarlm 2

Friday 20 May 2011 3:40

having manners & whatever is good, but those classes are the worst! good luck kid

yourbudtravis 0

Friday 20 May 2011 3:41

I'm still kind of laughing over the "fork your life's" ahaha :)

gusjustgus1 3

Friday 20 May 2011 4:09

spoons first?! no no no! you spoon -after- you fork, not before!

smartalek 2

Friday 20 May 2011 4:11

how fun. next up- sporks! or-- knives! how exhililirating!

sierraluvsgaga 5

Friday 20 May 2011 4:14

spppoooooooooonnnnnnsssssssss!!!!!!

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Friday 20 May 2011 4:14

wow fast movers. we spent a whole year on spoons. and when we moved to forks, oh boy hold on to your socks!

theninjkaymarie 0

Friday 20 May 2011 4:25

being on the Internet at the table is not polite, don't let the teacher catch you!

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

The Top

Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 192

Today, I noticed some of my thongs were stretched out and now hung loose on my hips. I thought it might be the dryer set too hot but no, apparently my mom has been wearing them over her fat ass, and thought I wouldn’t mind since we occasionally share our hoodies. Not the same thing mom. GROSS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 127

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 773

You deserved it 9 264

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 857

You deserved it 5 747

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 754

You deserved it 5 301

Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year-olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and led the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty, and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 262

You deserved it 4 697