Health: Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football...

By Shameful - 18/01/2012 19:57 - United States

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 3 788

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ricksterile - 29/10/2011 00:44 - United States

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 084

You deserved it 10 851

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 00:46 - United States - Oregon

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 805

You deserved it 2 140

Unexpected item

By Highschoolsucks - 18/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 137

By ProtoBird - 14/04/2016 04:11 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I got hit so hard in the head by a dodgeball that a contact popped right out. To make matters worse, I continued to get hit as a futilely searched for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 856

You deserved it 1 580

By FirstStringQB - 01/10/2011 22:45 - United States

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 4 743

By haileyjunkin - 22/11/2011 17:53

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 3 309

By ouch - 29/01/2010 20:19 - United States

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 243

You deserved it 5 282

By Noname - 20/02/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 186

You deserved it 25 117

By sara - 17/09/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 262

You deserved it 10 467

By Icci - 12/12/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 696

You deserved it 37 823

loller27 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 0:28

You have to know the 5 D's of dodgeball. Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.

JMTS 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 0:28

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball...

Comments

lB_BK 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 6:17

how do you know his height and weight..? O.o

md5775 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 6:36

Damn!! That sucks

Salinnax3 2

Thursday 19 January 2012 6:42

OUCH!

goskatey 7

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:16

Well, I happen to be that 6' 2" superstar football player... At least in my dreams xD

nabila21 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:52

It's worse in P.E. when everyone watches you because you're one of the slowest people in class

nabila21 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:56

And theres also chanting well you tell them to knock it off

DMC_Hotness 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:03

Sounds like you've got a thing for him

ifeelya 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:20

ah, high school days.

Justincolon22 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:36

For no reason?

The_Great_Bevis 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:47

A helmet may make you look retarded but it saves you from shit like that

jadamsclassic 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:03

good thing he plays football then... has your team won many games?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clothes Shoes Relatable Cars Insurance Transportation Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Awkward Clumsy Food Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Pranks Ironic Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I mistook a stranger in a supermarket aisle for an old friend and gave them a big bear hug from behind. Turns out, my "friend" was just now a very confused man in a very similar, but oddly specific jacket that I thought my actual friend had claimed he made himself. Guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 353

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 344

You deserved it 5 706

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 965

You deserved it 2 168

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 192

You deserved it 3 012

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 578

You deserved it 12 391

Today, I realized that all the swirling techniques I learned in chemistry labs has helped me to swirl alcoholic ingredients properly in my drinks to get the best mixtures. Thanks university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 383

Today, my mother brought home dinner for 4 people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 174

Same thing different taste

Unexpected item

Top comments

Comments