By ihateveganism - 22/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Barrington

Spicy
Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 306
You deserved it 10 012
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Brenda37 13

She was afraid your junk was too meaty. Take it as a compliment.

357 8
MisterMichael 9

Just dip your junk into green dye...problem solved

182 11

Comments

All_I_Need 4

A great majority of vegans are against animal exploitation (then there's environment, health reasons in some cases and taste, same among vegetarians), since giving a ******** isn't related to animal exploitation, doesn't have a negative impact on the environment and isn't generally seen as unhealthy unless you have a STD, I guess she just doesn't like giving head and needed a excuse. Though I've read some vegans stating that they wouldn't give head to a meat-eater. Too bad, they could get their B12 supplementation there. :p (I'm a vegetarian only because I don't like meat so I don't really understand all the principles of vegans, sorry.)

13 2
TopiaryOwl 18

Principles of veganism: • Taking the life of a being that wants life is immoral and unethical - and all animal agriculture requires animal death to be profitable, not even mentioning the immeasurable cruelties suffered by such animals. • By far the largest contributor to greenhouse gas emissions is animal agriculture. Animal waste pollutes natural waterways and is responsible for the destruction of millions of acres of rainforest ever day. • Human beings are biologically plant eaters - evident through our teeth, our digestive system, and our lack of ability to kill an animal and eat it raw with our bare hands. Every essential vitamin can be consumed through eating raw, plant based food, overall contributing to a healthier, happier, longer-lived life.

1 0
Cegal 0

Well of course...Vegans don't like meat, cockmeat that is...

0 2
doctorhook86 24

Q: How do you know if someone's s vegan? A: Don't worry, they'll tell you.

46 1
keepingitnasty 15

That's the worst excuse I've heard for not wanting to preform oral. It seems like she went less vegan, and more full on stupid. Why couldn't she just say no?

7 5
janeska1231 1

I need to start using that line on my husband. Lol

6 7
Fmlsea 28

this one actually made me laugh sorry OP sucks to be you ,but maybe there's a greater meaning behind that excuse .

0 1
vucui 21

Well, guess she doesn't need to have sex at all with him then, since she'd be riding his meat. Vegan logic.

6 2
rattusrattus 18

Some vegans are happy to eat human placenta because no animals were harmed. I think the same principle applies here.

2 5
kimg0885 23

What ?? That's just gross. "would you to go out for a burger for lunch?" "nah, lets just stop by the maternity ward and pick up some fresh afterbirth."

8 1
rattusrattus 18

It's normally their own afterbirth. It's not something I'd do either, but I can see the logic.

1 1
saksxalmo 20

Actually placenta is really good for you. That's why a lot of animals eat their own placentae (?) in the wild. IIRC some non-Western cultures eat it as well. It's not *that* gross. You know what's really gross? Hot dogs.

6 3