Intimacy: Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because,... - FML

By ihateveganism - 22/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Barrington

Spicy

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 306

You deserved it 10 012

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Same thing different taste

By Sal - 03/03/2009 18:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 045

You deserved it 31 136

By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 00:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 543

You deserved it 14 764

By blondetergent - 20/06/2011 08:12 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 916

You deserved it 15 345

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 01:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 884

You deserved it 4 405

Never gonna happen

By meat lover - 27/09/2022 15:30

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 214

Is this dude a puma?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 1 522

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 676

You deserved it 7 398

Disloyal!

By saywhat - 26/11/2010 03:28 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 278

You deserved it 39 797

Giving and taking

By patriarchal apparently - 29/06/2013 19:58 - Saint Lucia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 235

You deserved it 9 998

Spicy date

By veggiedude - 08/05/2014 03:01 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 789

You deserved it 6 654

Next

Top comments

Brenda37 13

Wednesday 22 August 2012 12:01

She was afraid your junk was too meaty. Take it as a compliment.

MisterMichael 9

Wednesday 22 August 2012 12:06

Just dip your junk into green dye...problem solved

Comments

HaTo_HeRo 1

Wednesday 22 August 2012 17:42

Well vegans don't eat any product that comes from an animal... Technically we're animals so she has every right to dislike giving BJ's... But logic aside... I feel your pain man... That must suck.

NurseAbi 10

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:33

Or not...... Lol

rammy125 4

Wednesday 22 August 2012 17:45

Just give her a slap in the face.... Stupid women

ultra_notorious 26

Wednesday 22 August 2012 17:56

Time to ditch her!

Calingaladha 21

Wednesday 22 August 2012 17:57

Well, I guess cum is an animal product...maybe try convincing her that ir's organically free-range produced. Or get a girlfriend who doesn't have lame excuses for giving head.

totheforest84 4

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:10

NEXT!!!

LoveDove10910 0

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:24

Well I'm vegan,and I don't have a problem giving my boyfriend a *******, it's actually a good source for protein.

br0ccoli 14

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:36

So I guess you two will never have sex with her logic.

upsidedownfools 5

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:58

Cockblocked by a lifestyle, that's a new one.

lovexlauren 2

Wednesday 22 August 2012 19:13

That's not true.. Look it up, it is vegan!

Le_Anonymous 9

Wednesday 22 August 2012 19:45

Tell her your dick doesn't have a face.

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The Top

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You deserved it 138

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I agree, your life sucks 48 066

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I agree, your life sucks 30 385

You deserved it 5 716

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I agree, your life sucks 54 468

You deserved it 6 350

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 173

You deserved it 12 523

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 490

You deserved it 3 061