By ihateveganism - 22/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Barrington

Spicy
Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 306
You deserved it 10 012

Same thing different taste

Top comments

She was afraid your junk was too meaty. Take it as a compliment.

Just dip your junk into green dye...problem solved

Comments

perdix 29

It's not just eating, vegans don't use animals at all. They won't wear leather or wool (even if sheep aren't killed to give us wool.) He she's true to her credo, you can't jack off anywhere in her or on her. The real story is she's ******* someone else.

I hate pedantic vegans. They swallow their own spit which is technically an animal product, as much as semen is :/

She probably just doesn't like your dick.

PikachuBuddy 8

I do t know if anyone wake has posted this, OP, She's not gonna eat your "meat" XD

Greenday fans are few and far between but it seems we share our taste in music. I do know that sounds slightly creepy but im tired and lazy.

Maybe she's just trying to be polite and doesn't want your dick in her mouth

Some vegans are just ******* stupid. I have nothing against veganism, or anyone with any particular set of beliefs, there's always that tiny few that take it too damn far and just be utterly stupid about it. Does she deny you sex as well, given she has to handle your 'meat'? Sorry OP, think you need to find someone else.

I'm vegan, and don't see this as a problem. She's just using it as an excuse to not suck on your meat!

The_F3rris 11

Ah, to be vegan...no meat shall pass their lips ;)

I have a lot of vegetarian friends but I think this is silly. I'm thinking maybe it's an excuse because she just doesn't want to give you a bj? I myself don't think it's sexy at all when the guy I'm with asks (pesters) for one, which a lot of guys who write on here seem to do. I'll do it when I do it and he'll enjoy every second. I don't know how long you've been together but maybe try some patience and let her come around to it on her own terms? If this isn't something either one of you are willing to compromise on then maybe it's better to break up, but don't tell anyone the reason because you'll come off looking like an asshole.

Not to mention if you're a carnivore your stuff will taste nasty. Just saying, eat some fruit and veggies for awhile.

People who eat meat aren't "carnivores"... Most of us eat fruits and vegetables as well (you don't want to get scurvy.) All humans are omnivores, some are just more okay with that than others.

160 - All humans aren't omnivores. Biologically, we're 100% plant eaters. Have fun with that increased risk of cancer and heart disease. ?