By ihateveganism - 22/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Barrington

Spicy
Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 306
You deserved it 10 012
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Brenda37 13

She was afraid your junk was too meaty. Take it as a compliment.

357 8
MisterMichael 9

Just dip your junk into green dye...problem solved

182 11

Comments

007type 26

It doesn't count untill you swallow.

87 6
ebonyirony 29

It's more ladylike to swallow, I always say.

25 11
stephan18 23

101 - you meant to say "It's always more ladylike to swallow, I always do"? x))

4 14
PvtParts417 15

So if I give another guy a ******** it's not gay unless I swallow?

15 1
torbey 23

haha maybe I should turn vegan so I can use this excuse!

48 33
fuzz97 23

Go for it, if you want to look like a complete moron

33 19
torbey 23

clearly a joke :) ...swear people on this site have no sense of humour lol

45 11
mikeofthunder 13

No. People on this site are just stupid. That's not excluding me btw

32 7
somewizdom 15

Tell her it's a zero fat meal plus she'll get the required protein at the end. Sounds like a win-win situation.

44 8
person961 9

Semen is also good for your teeth, so it will also start to improve her dental hygiene.

4 4
007type 26

Put a yellow condom on, its as good as banana. And if you shake it, you get to swallow fresh protein shake.

29 4
CustardAndPie 13

#60; those actually taste more like banana flavoured medicine than anything particularly pleasant, and so probably wouldn't help the situation much. xD

3 2
_wraith 15

WOW.... I love banana flavoured medicine... Hater.

3 5
BunBunBabe 8

Yeah if he wanted his dick shaken around like a banana.. But he wanted head

2 2
Klefhomacked 11

No one's asking her to bite off your dick and eat it. Unless she thinks that's what a ******* is...

58 4
hadrian2012 2

If that is her idea then perhaps her refusal to blow the kielbasa is in the best interest of all parties concerned

8 0
missyj0 12

lol.. blow the kielbasa. That's a first.

1 2
nightowl713 25

She probably meant swallowing, because technically she would be consuming a living thing. I doubt she meant to actual act of it.

6 1
monocyte 4

Right?! She's not eating any meat. If anything, it's more environmental and rewarding in so many ways, having to work for a snack of simple proteins and sugar? :) I think I've just convinced myself to become vegan

2 1
hunteredmundson 17

That's vegetarians that don't eat meat!!! Vegans don't eat any animal product!!!

0 0
patrickalamo 47

Babies are not vegan either. So se never plans to conceive? Correct?

3 7
LittleGreenPaola 23

Seems like she took the expression "eating sb out" literally.

5 12
seasonedtoast 19

Does it mean somebody? Honestly the alphabet is there to be used. All the letters. Not just some sometimes.

15 1
LittleGreenPaola 23

Sorry, I was in a hurry. You're so strict...

2 15
ambowew 7

Would have taken longer to figure out what to replace somebody with.

6 2
zandalee 19

Your girlfriend is either an idiot or is just making up an excuse due to the fact that she doesn't want your dick in her mouth...

37 6
mikeofthunder 13

Based on this FML , I'm guessing this vegan doesn't plan on doing a lot of things

12 1