By ihateveganism - 22/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Barrington

Spicy
Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 306
You deserved it 10 012
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Brenda37 13

She was afraid your junk was too meaty. Take it as a compliment.

357 8
MisterMichael 9

Just dip your junk into green dye...problem solved

182 11

Comments

supportcommand 17

Tell her that she doesn't eat the dick. Just sucks it for the flavor. And the protein surprise at the end is totally vegan. She'll have to do it then.

3 8
0h_Boy 26

I'd like to say "I agree, your life sucks." However, she doesn't. Ergo, it doesn't

25 2
krysxkatastrophe 14

Does she plan on pulling a Jeffery Dahmer? If not, then it's perfectly fine...both in terms of veganism and what's socially acceptable.

6 2
nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Or Armin Meiwes. He thinks penis is a delicacy. There's even a Rammstein song about him.

4 2
howrudoin 11

Tell her the dressing you got cumming out is very vegan friendly and will go well with her salad.

6 3
mikeofthunder 13

I like how you altered the spelling of "coming" to reinforce the true meaning of your joke :P

3 9
ebonyirony 29

35- ew it's still semen; vegan or not, joke or not, that shit would be disgusting on salad.

7 2
afairshake 8

She's clearly looking at your equipment as meat which goes against her beliefs and eating habits. Let's face it if you want to be crude technically yes it's meat but she wouldn't be consuming it so......

3 0
TheMathMajor 26

I'm thinking that sperm could technically be considered an animal product which is why she would be against it, but it's still pretty stupid.

1 1
mndlssphnx 10

Time for a new girlfriend.

14 20
wlddog 14

THANK YOU!! He just gave two great reasons to dump her. Why is he still considering her a girlfriend?

4 14
NothernNightmare 18

So 40, & 68, you think dumping her is acceptable because she doesn't want to give her boyfriend a BJ? Like seriously, there are more important things in a relationship than that. (Unless you want OP to dump her because she's slightly dumb, that's a different story.)

16 0
TopiaryOwl 18

Pardon #68? Are you saying a person's simple choice to NOT consume animal products is a reason to end a relationship? That's pathetic.

0 0
catanita 18

French kissing is considered vegan? It involves some kind of meat. :):)

14 1
Countryrose0524 7

Hmm what a shame. Maybe you need a new girl that knows how to keep her man happy.

5 12
GoldenGrizzly 7

It's not all about blow jobs and sex. Yes, they are important, but if they are still being intimate what is the problem? I don't see Op offering to go down on her or threatening to take that away. So why is it required for women to blow men but men don't have to "go down" on women. If the girlfriend still demands he jill her off then that is one thing, but if he doesn't do that for her then she doesn't have to give him oral, ever.

14 2
ingcoliptis 10

That makes sense, she can't eat your meat, bad joke

1 1
infernno 23

She's got a point, it's meat after all.

3 3