Intimacy: Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning...

By CantPublish - 12/04/2012 17:54 - United States - Modesto

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 091

You deserved it 21 904

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jigglypluff - 19/11/2014 05:27 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 278

You deserved it 4 944

Turned on… and off

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 120

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 2 474

Cut it out

By uhhggggg - 02/01/2010 17:16 - France

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 611

You deserved it 4 348

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 67 441

The best laid plans…

By A drunk walks into a bar and says NO SEX TONIGHT - 22/07/2022 16:00

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 297

By Eternal Servitude - 02/05/2015 16:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 414

You deserved it 2 368

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 945

You deserved it 3 144

Get it on

By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 985

You deserved it 6 188

By yeah - 27/08/2010 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby's innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 783

You deserved it 38 959

GenaALazer 22

Thursday 12 April 2012 23:10

smart woman.

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 12 April 2012 23:11

She is a keeper. I know people say that a lot but she is smart...you could learn something OP.

Comments

blackheart24 10

Friday 13 April 2012 0:43

Tell her the next role play is gonna start with her making a sandwich...

brony1999 0

Friday 13 April 2012 0:55

Lol can not believe you fell for that!!!

Havin 19

Friday 13 April 2012 0:55

Gold

xoconnie 8

Friday 13 April 2012 0:55

Wellllll at least u accomplished something productive! She owes ya one:)

SLRfan 4

Friday 13 April 2012 0:56

Got to admit, that's funny!

BecomeMine 0

Friday 13 April 2012 1:05

The wise ways of a women ;)

THExistentialist 13

Friday 13 April 2012 1:09

I thought you were an amputee until I clicked your picture D:

Michaelsgirl04 9

Friday 13 April 2012 1:13

Her picture looks like Snooki. (not a compliment) also, woman*

zues70 4

Friday 13 April 2012 1:10

Your wife is awesome! But she owes you some!

Michaelsgirl04 9

Friday 13 April 2012 1:11

Genius.

cave72 3

Friday 13 April 2012 1:26

Dude go out there and shit in the pool.

l0v3p4in 7

Friday 13 April 2012 5:51

Who would shit where they swim? Pee maybe . . . but shit?

SephoraGypsy 15

Friday 13 April 2012 13:52

This is golden.

jwebster 8

Friday 13 April 2012 1:28

Win for wifey

Keywords

Coworkers Work Transportation Cars Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Miscellaneous Love Awkward Health Scams My ex Sex Money Family Healthy Lifestyle AITA Am I overreacting? Babies Kids Sleep Mental health Parents Cheating Break-ups Nice Guys Facebook

The Top

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly ran across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family who owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 5 959

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 303

The Top

Today, I learned it’s apparently a “red flag” that I, at 27, do not have any social media, get my news from the local station, watch “regular” tv (non-streamed/not YouTube), and only use the internet for research or occasional online shopping. I just prefer real life. Is that so odd? FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 189

Today, while I was skyping two of my guy friends, my mom barged into my room to show me a really nice new lipstick she bought and wanted me to try on. It was a beautiful red color and as I asked how I looked with it on, my mother laughed and responded with "hahaha you look like a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 491

You deserved it 449

Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 106

Today, my sister and mom were arguing. My sister was being really nasty to my mom, and decided to get nasty with me and drag me into the argument. Naturally, I got nasty back at her and we started fighting. My mom yelled at me for getting nasty with my sister, and kicked me out of the house for “being too nasty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 209

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 058

You deserved it 48 757

Today, it's now the 10th girl who has gone out with me but ended up falling for one of my close friends, who she met through me. I starting to feel I am that guy in the movie "Good Luck Chuck". FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 84

Same thing different taste

Turned on… and off

Cut it out

The best laid plans…

Get it on

Top comments

Comments