By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 836
You deserved it 7 999
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

yanni222 0

Kick her in the face and yell "I live to have sex!" then walk away real slowly and in a cool manner, as your house explodes behind you.

60 10

Comments

imajinethat 0

YDI for not keeping your woman under control.

1 14
asherah14 7

Under control? If you're serious, you need to stfu. If you're joking, I don't see the humor in your comment.

5 0
dight_fml 4

On the one hand, ZING!. On the other hand, that's harsh.

1 3
_THE_MASTER_ 0

tell her to at least give a ******* for each pound lost. remember, the trick is cardio....don't lift, cuz you gain muscle which weighs more...no bj's for weight gained...

0 5
ozymandias_fml 0

Divorce the fat bitch.

2 8
DameGreyWulf 0

I think per pound is a little much, maybe that is what she thought? Unless you're not good at losing weight, then okay. What other reward is there, anyway, for losing weight? It's not like you can have a party with beer and cake lol AND YEAH, sex is a form of exercise too. So many women marrying guys who apparently don't please them. How sad. [edit] I like 35's suggestion. That's not too much punishment for her piglips, is it?

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plexico 3

Two pounds a week is a good safe rate of weight loss. Sex twice a week is OK for most couples. If sex is the reward for him, what does she get? Cash? Anti-sex?

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DameGreyWulf 0

Good point. I am too much under the impression that it's easy to lose a pound in one day... Lol, if it was cash, wouldn't that make her a hooker in some sense?

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plexico 3

You cannot lose a pound of fat a day in any normal circumstance. You can drop more than two pounds a week for maybe two or three weeks, but a lot of that would be muscle mass and water. And if you are starting over 300 pounds, you can generally lose 1% of your body weight weekly and be healthy. ---- As far as the hooker thing is concerned, I turn over a big chunk of my bi-weekly paycheck over to my wife nominally for "household expenses," but I find that check easier to write when she's just ****** my brains out and kind of humiliating during a dry spell.

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sublime93 0

I want a funnel cake

1 3
konstantin_fml 0

FYL, man. I've been fat, skinny and in-between in my 10 years of marriage to my husband, but having loud, sweaty sex is a low-cost, high-value gift we present to ourselves at least twice a week. It's sad that your wife treats it like a chore. :(

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plexico 3

At least twice a week. Damn right, konstantin, that sounds just about right. Can you call my wife and tell her that is normal, and her husband (me) is not an oversexed freak for wanting it that often? Thanks.

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CFR 0

Ouch...How on Earth does that happen....Who can be THAT bad at sex that it's considered a punishment for the other person...Are you even paying attention to her needs during it or are you just... Ouch... Question, if you're trying to lose weight because you want to, isn't losing the weight a reward in itself?

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konstantin_fml 0

You said it better than me. I both love and hate you.

0 1
lmmmr 0

You sound like you're 12.

1 0