By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 836
You deserved it 7 999
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

yanni222 0

Kick her in the face and yell "I live to have sex!" then walk away real slowly and in a cool manner, as your house explodes behind you.

60 10

Comments

ananamoose 0

punch her in the vag, and say just cuz your better than me at that stuff down there, doesn't mean i cant punch you in the vag

0 1
ananamoose 0

how did my comment get moderated??? thats dumb alls i said was punch her in the vag cuz she was being a ****... i didn't say **** the first time, but dang what the heck, vag isn't even a bad word...

1 6
AnnieLennox1954 0

Yeah, that kind of shit happens to your mojo when you let yourself get that fat and undesirable. But if she's fat too, why would you suggest sex in the first place?

3 7
andlifesuxagain 0

Well then tell her to give you money for every pound lost so that way you can go get a hooker. Win for every one that way, you get sex, shes gets a less fat you, and she doesnt have to have sex with you.

6 3
slutsstud 0

just the fact that you ave to go to those lame lengths to convince your WIFE to have to sex with you clearly says that ur life is ******

9 0
littlemisslee 0

maybe instead of working to lose weight you should see what's wrong with your relationship and work on that first...

11 1
Intoxicunt 5

I agree with #15. You should be having sex already! That's like saying "oxygen is your reward." However, in her defense, maybe she thought she would have to do a lot of pleasing you while you just sat there and gained the weight back and never did a thing for her. So maybe she thought she'd be giving up her pleasure.... Still, FYL.

5 1
plexico 3

It's really hard to lose those last pounds, so the reward should get better as you get closer to your goal. Until you get to 50 lbs of your goal weight, she'll talk dirty to you while you **********. For 50 to 40 lbs., handjobs. For 40 to 30 lbs., ******** with spitting. For 30 to 20 lbs., ******** with swallowing. For 20 to 10 lbs., *******, and For the last 10 lbs., any damn freaky thing he wants. Go for it. I've got to run to the Patent Office with this idea!

0 0
wickedgrl13 0

damnn That's a really good (and funny) idea. lmao

0 0
plexico 3

Wickedgrl13, for you I am going to repost my moderated comment. I don't know how it violated the community standards -- I just think someone is mad at me. Losing weight is one of those things that gets harder as you get closer to the goal. The reward system has to increase the value of the reward as the goal gets closer. Try this: Until you get to within 50 lbs. of your goal weight, your wife will talk dirty to you while you **********. From 50 lbs. down to 40, handjobs; from 40 lbs. down to 30, ******** with spitting; from 30 lbs. down to 20, ******** with swallowing, optional teabagging; from 20 lbs. down to 10, *******, and for the last 10 lbs, anything he wants no matter how freaky! Let me know how it works out. I've got to run to the Patent Office now. Patent pending Plexico. All rights reserved.

1 0
judgeymcjudge 0

*roars with laughter* Plexico = Brilliant. Why the **** did that get moderated?! Do you think they're trying to make the place more kiddy friendly or something?

0 0
plexico 3

Thanks. On looking back at it, I think this just might work, too! I'm going to tell it to my wife and if she goes for it, I'll run double-marathons every day until I get into the 30-20 range and lose weight REAL slowly after that for a while! ;)

0 0
Glam_fml 0

She was probably just joking. I have said similar things to my boyfriend, jokingly. And if she is not joking, then FYL.

1 2
Evan_R_D 0

i don't know you or your wife so to speculate why she would say that i would just have to assume it boils down to a lack of self esteem in the way she looks at herself. try not to take it personally but if you really feel like you're underachieving in the sack then you should try new ways to have sex, maybe new places or just be more passionate about it. she married you right? there must be something she likes about you.

4 0
TheOtherNewest1 6

#30 - Apparently his peep wasn't one of the reasons.

0 2