Health: Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately,... - FML

By must.not.itch. - 02/06/2012 23:25 - United States - Hayward

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 772

You deserved it 3 194

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 16:12 - United States

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 34 696

The spirit of John Lennon

By Becks - 07/09/2020 23:01

Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 117

By Kurda - 23/05/2015 02:26 - United States - Wallburg

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 526

You deserved it 2 768

Getting on

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 05:59

Today, after much measuring with a tape measure, comparing with my sisters and even asking my husband for his opinion, I'm forced to admit that without a bra on, my boobs now sag so much my nipples hang down to the level of my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 125

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 625

You deserved it 1 064

By krushr - 23/01/2011 05:32 - Canada

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 5 343

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 212

By Juanald - 05/11/2017 05:00

Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 674

You deserved it 380

By fml - 21/02/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 389

You deserved it 2 630

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 694

You deserved it 3 531

Next

Top comments

NomNomMuffin 5

Sunday 3 June 2012 7:45

Changing the sheets sounds like a good plan eh?

Rainbowbright99 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 7:45

Woooo hoooo big boobs! (and tasty nipples to boot!)

Comments

felixthemaster 6

Sunday 3 June 2012 11:49

lucky bed bugs!!

chokefrantic 9

Sunday 3 June 2012 11:52

Bed bugs want some milk!

Blackyx3 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 13:09

Omg! U r just like spiderman !!! Super Powers ftw!

unluckyv 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 13:18

pics or it didnt happen

perdix 29

Sunday 3 June 2012 13:30

That's certainlly a lot cheaper than a conventional boob job. I'm sure all the attention you get from men with you big voluptuous boobs will offset the pain of the chronic insect bites. Same principle as high heels;)

natestuh_17 2

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:00

Pics or it didn't happen...

stillfedupfromla 3

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:17

Well, whatever works for you...B 2 C err what?

CoconutOil 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:19

Breast feeding bed bugs is very uncommon I suppose!

ManicGypsy 22

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:22

FYI for just having to deal with bed bugs. They are pesky little critters and cost a small fortune to get rid of. Generally you can not get rid of them without shelling out thousands of dollars to a professional.

tehranken 6

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:26

That would be bad if your boobs were large to begin with.....or would it?

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Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, according to my wife, if we hadn’t gotten drunk and pregnant on the first date, she never would've chosen me to be her husband, as I’m not her type, not even close, and that frankly I’m lucky her Catholic upbringing was the only thing that stopped her having multiple affairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 148

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 046

You deserved it 8 604

Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 116

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 237

You deserved it 3 720

Today, my husband took our son into the woods with a big stick and two tennis rackets because they'd found a hornets nest. Yes, they used the stick to poke the nest and the tennis rackets to whack the hornets, like they thought it was a game. They got swarmed and are now in hospital. Idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 104

Today, I was so desperate for any kind of male romantic attention that I googled "prison pen pals", and I'm considering writing to one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 521

You deserved it 24 908