Kids: Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit...

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By alostr1 - 06/02/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 532

You deserved it 2 497

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 989

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 28 648

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 174

By adeeri - 04/09/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 3 229

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 337

You deserved it 5 279

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 9 917

ciarafox9 9

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:13

It's like a double rainbow..

NEEPLES 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

Be careful. I heard that species can have rabies.

Comments

Lookinforlove10 1

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:49

I would of smacked the shit outta him, but thats just me...

Canyousee 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:50

Ah the "good times" I work at a daycare and one time I pocked a kid up to carry him across the room, he didn't want to go so he bit me, on the nipple through my shirt. I dropped him.

InUrArea 4

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:50

Bad demon child kick his little ass out of daycare

nani11 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:56

bite him back and use his sweater to wipe the vomit haha now youre even

flies 1

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:07

29, He may be a failed abortion but your black.

flies 1

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:12

29 he may be a failed abortion but you are black.

afulks78 11

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:38

What a champ :) jk

ajourdhui 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:48

children of the corn

ThaBeasty01 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:48

Kids .. Smh .__.

jaminjames 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:49

Isn't daycare fun

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 85

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 2 489

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 730

You deserved it 1 070

Today, after months of living on five dollars a day for food in college, I found out my parents bought me an expensive meal plan and forgot to mention it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 534

You deserved it 1 503

Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 4 158

Today, my boyfriend and I were taking a stroll when I was mugged at knife point. My boyfriend did nothing and just stood there while the mugger took my purse and cellphone. His reason? The other day, I'd "disrespected" him by “texting another guy.” I’d texted the guy, “Happy birthday.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 327

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 310

Today, I found out how far my car can go after the fuel light comes on: All the way to the stoplight before the nearest gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 631

You deserved it 4 923

Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

Top comments

Comments