Kids: Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit...

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

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Same thing different taste

By alostr1 - 06/02/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 532

You deserved it 2 497

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 989

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 28 648

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 174

By adeeri - 04/09/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 3 229

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 337

You deserved it 5 279

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 9 917

ciarafox9 9

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:13

It's like a double rainbow..

NEEPLES 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

Be careful. I heard that species can have rabies.

Comments

Krulin 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:30

Sue the child for aggravated assault.

Livencountry 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:36

Why the hell do people automatically jump to "sue them"? Makes no sense to me.

every1luvsboners 11

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:40

He's trolling. You just helped him achieve.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:08

If only I had four thumbs...

Cmdr_Shepard 17

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:31

I hope the people saying "Aw how cute" are kidding; The FML was filled to the brim with red flags. For the kid to invade your private space, inflict physical harm, and then vomit on you shows some major problems. You better sit down with the mother and tell her to set her son straight or else it's gonna get worse.

2ndSucks 15

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:34

I thought the sarcasm was fairly obvious.. Maybe not.

Cmdr_Shepard 17

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:08

A stand-alone comment like "Aw how cute" is either genuine or a poor attempt to be sarcastic. Hence the phrase "I hope you guys are joking". I love sarcasm but it doesn't translate well into text unless you make it painfully obvious.

DrewsFML 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:01

Okay people use some logic, daycares accept infants starting at 6 weeks. Both mouthing/biting faces and throwing up on people are normal and very common infant behavior. So is giggling when someone reacts funny. Not to mention headbutting, poking eyes, pulling hair...

Cmdr_Shepard 17

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:37

I didn't consider that but an infant doing it wouldn't be logical. One, a baby doesn't just walk up to someone and suddenly bite them on the face. Two, the baby couldn't bite the OP unless she had let him, so she wouldn't have screamed (which implies unexpected physical pain). Three, if the OP had let the baby bite her, it wouldn't be a FML. Four, it's highly unlikely that the infant could laugh so forcefully that he would throw up. Finally, if it had been an infant, the FML would have been "Today, I picked up a kid only to be bitten..." The way the FML is worded, it is most logical that the boy is 3-5 years old, more than capable of running up to someone, biting them, then inducing vomiting from laughter. Trust me, I'm a psychology major and I've already had classes on human development.

DrewsFML 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 7:54

Wow I'm so impressed, you're taking college classes in psychology that may lead to a degree if you don't drop out first? You must KNOW. IT. ALL. Guess what? I'm already a GROWN UP, I already have my Masters degree and have been working in childhood development for years. Now don't cry your mommy will be by soon to pick up your laundry and tell you you're a genius.

fthku 13

Wednesday 26 October 2011 14:21

A grown up, eh, #135? Kinda coming off as more of a bratty kid to me. Anyway, that sucks OP. I wasn't even aware that laughing really hard can induce vomiting.

perdix 29

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:32

Looks like Canada is training the next Vince Weiguang Li! If you're not peeing yourself right now, Google "Vince Weiguang Li"

Livencountry 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:38

Google is evil. Bing is way better.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:16

35- Please refrain from speaking such way of one of my best friends.

Livencountry 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:17

Ok I looked it up. That would be bad. Very bad. I'm indifferent to google and bing. I use them both.

DrewsFML 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:25

Wow, I totally forgot about that guy until I just googled it! BTW, just using Bing once is sacrilege to Google. That's like a Red Sox fan rooting for the Yankees once in a while.

Sienna420 4

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:32

Tell his parents!! They wouldn't care most parents now a day don't. If either of my kids did that they would get a spankin with the belt across their butt.