Kids: Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit... - FML

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

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Same thing different taste

By alostr1 - 06/02/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 532

You deserved it 2 497

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 989

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 28 648

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 174

By adeeri - 04/09/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 3 229

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 337

You deserved it 5 279

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 9 917

Next

Top comments

ciarafox9 9

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:13

It's like a double rainbow..

NEEPLES 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

Be careful. I heard that species can have rabies.

Comments

deathpotato 11

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:18

Get a new job.

Squirrelx 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:18

That really bites...

ihavenosoul 4

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:49

Hahahaha I see what you did there hahahaha *pukes* ha.. Oh sorry.

Seduisant 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 6:00

Ha!

every1luvsboners 11

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:19

It's just another excuse as to why your crotch stinks. What else is new? How's the weather down there? A little foggy with a slight chance of vomit.

turtlegrl66 11

Wednesday 26 October 2011 10:36

You try too hard.

ollallie 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 14:33

...wow really?

Okayitwasme 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 15:30

You on something?? That makes no sense!

Insane_Tea 15

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:20

Did it take its pills this morning?

ollallie 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 14:35

I love how you called the weird kid an "it" I must say that made me laugh lol!!!

ohmandapants 16

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:20

The people saying it's cute are gonna be producing devil children like this one..

THE_A_TEEN 27

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:20

Dear god, what happened to this generations children? I know us kids from the 90's werent like this but, WHY???

tona01 16

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:24

People born in 70 and 80 started to reproduce. And we all know all that disco music was from satan.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:31

don't be blaming the disco...

ohmandapants 16

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:29

The rhythm is gonna get you...

zolziski 11

Wednesday 26 October 2011 6:09

Blame it on the boogie!

nadyy14 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 12:29

#17 because maybe you kids from the 90s were messed up by the disco age sited of the new kids being messed up by how they are today

nadyy14 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 12:37

Thats an insult to our ENTIRE generation, thank you very much.

ohmandapants 16

Wednesday 26 October 2011 13:28

147- I don't understand your comment, you should clarify that...and your profile says you're a 90's kid too, so I don't get why you wrote "you kids from the 90's"...I just don't get your comment

Akazuki 26

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:20

Sounds like someone needs a spankin'! Kids these days....

P374RD3D 9

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:22

Better than him vomiting on you THEN biting you

obamathellama 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 6:11

No, no it's not.

RoseCrystal 17

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:28

children nowadays are horrible. No manners, spoiled, and sissy parents who don't control them. yesh!

satph 12

Wednesday 26 October 2011 8:33

22- i know! they're such brats nowadays! even fully grown ones!

69chick69 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:29

Have fun!

corrinalee3 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:37

24 and 25 ur both gross

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 9 084

You deserved it 37 275

Today, my ex called and said he still loved me. I said I’d move across the country to be with him. Then he said we could live in his dad’s house, so I can protect him from his sister’s best friend, who gave him chlamydia. At the end of call, he said he’s seeing someone and he likes her because she buys him gifts and food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 388

Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 446

You deserved it 1 453

Today, my younger brother got in engaged. When we had a conversation about the wedding, he asked why the hell would I be involved with any of it! He used to be my best friend. I don’t know what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 179

Today, I went to get a banana for breakfast and said to my mom, with whom I currently live at age 32 because of Covid, that I don't normally eat bananas, but it looked good. She looked at me and said, "You clearly need to get yourself a man." She's right, but jeez! Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 253

Today, my roommate and I received a non-payment notice from our landlord, over a dishonored check that was used to pay the rent. I give my roommate money for my share and she handles the checks. Apparently, her trip to Puerto Rico was more important than paying rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 181