Kids: Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit...

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

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Same thing different taste

By alostr1 - 06/02/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 532

You deserved it 2 497

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 989

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 28 648

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 174

By adeeri - 04/09/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 3 229

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 337

You deserved it 5 279

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 9 917

ciarafox9 9

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:13

It's like a double rainbow..

NEEPLES 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

Be careful. I heard that species can have rabies.

Comments

ladyhawks13 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 3:07

he sounds like one lovely kid.

boobookittie 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 3:20

Aren't kids in daycare normally too young to correctly type a perfect entry into FML? I'm confused.

perdix 29

Wednesday 26 October 2011 3:26

Fine young cannibal?

leadman1989 15

Wednesday 26 October 2011 5:50

I see what ya did there!

1JDub 6

Wednesday 26 October 2011 3:50

Is it a red headed kid named Chucky?

bearnblue 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 3:52

Atleast he didnt kick you in the nuts

crownlogic 25

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:00

He BIT you on the FACE? And then you stayed close enough to him for him to throw up on you...? Quality interaction.

WutzButz 3

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:23

That child belongs in an mental institute. And his parents deserve to be beaten up for having ****** up that boy.

awkwardaredevil 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:25

Your job is to keep them entertained, and, by golly, you've done that!

corrinalee3 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:35

LMAO OMG HAHAHA FYL I'm sorry but tht was funny once again FYL

amoss1028 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:35

can u say jail....i woulda bitch slapped em....

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 086

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 3 083

The Top

Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 4 058

Today, I left my wife of 25 years. For every one of those years, I was treated like a stupid child or a worthless burden. When I finally got fed up, everyone said I was the bad guy. I just want to be treated like a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 150

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 211

You deserved it 5 799

Today, after weeks of thinking about how to ask my crush out, I finally was ready to message her on Instagram, only to find out that she unfollowed me after watching my last story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 392

Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 141

You deserved it 4 327

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 4 017

Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

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