Miscellaneous: Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt...

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 50 525

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Same thing different taste

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 405

You deserved it 54 566

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 20:53 - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 431

You deserved it 61 488

By Cass - 29/03/2012 02:03 - Australia

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 813

You deserved it 28 759

By Employee - 07/08/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 435

You deserved it 12 612

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 300

You deserved it 7 209

By Quin - 31/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 2 051

Spotted it

By dollabill009 - 06/06/2013 08:49 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 287

You deserved it 8 563

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 780

Foul

By cdubb27 - 11/10/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 122

You deserved it 9 043

Creeped out

By gymgirl - 17/12/2013 23:48 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 382

You deserved it 3 843

Sunako_fml 9

Wednesday 8 August 2012 18:55

That's just disgusting..

Welshite 39

Wednesday 8 August 2012 18:55

What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.

Comments

Irishgypsy 2

Wednesday 8 August 2012 19:52

I hope you never lose your hands and get pirate hooks to replace them.

cantthinkofshit 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 19:55

Haha I don't really know why but the whole "future marine" username makes this even more funny for me. Lmao

leadawg75 12

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:02

Wtf?! Why would you smell your sweaty balls using your nasty sweaty (yours and other peoples sweat) hands!? In public! Wth is wrong wit you dude?!

leadawg75 12

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:06

*with

coughyochick 7

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:02

LeBron James does it too

leadawg75 12

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:04

One quetionWtf is wrong with your imagination?! :O

laurenlovesjb 20

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:08

Wow, the fact that that is habit worries me... I'm pretty sure you deserved it!

mskimbelinapham 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:09

Fyl for real smh

reject214 10

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:13

What's the big deal? We all do it. My wife scratches her pus#y and then smells her fingers. It's natural.

day624 14

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:46

Your username explains a lot

DylansMomma 9

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:31

Your comment : Wtf possesses you to smell your ball sweat, especially after working out? You're gross dude. YDI!

sophie22_fml 8

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:32

Why would you do that? That's nasty! Who does that?! Do you smell your hands after wiping your butt too? You're disgusting.

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The Top

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 327

You deserved it 6 125

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

The Top

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 072

You deserved it 3 682

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030

You deserved it 3 108

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 712

You deserved it 6 763

Today, I convinced my roommate, who’s been single for a while, to get back in the dating game. He downloaded Tinder. His first match was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 499

You deserved it 287

Today, after our housing offer was accepted, I told my parents. The only response was, “That’s a much nicer house than I had when I got married, I hope you can afford furniture.” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 273

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 557

You deserved it 4 469

Same thing different taste

Stained

Spotted it

Foul

Creeped out

Top comments

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