Intimacy: Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house,...

By cduran2011 - 14/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 578

You deserved it 12 388

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 172

You deserved it 12 532

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 216

You deserved it 52 394

Sexy time

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 482

You deserved it 16 105

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 4 664

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 206

You deserved it 14 887

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 12:00

Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 2 222

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 1 190

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 14 911

By TheMissMuffly - 31/07/2012 15:53 - United States - Monmouth

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 832

You deserved it 53 159

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 429

kidwiththeface42 7

Friday 14 October 2011 18:51

Hot wax: you're doing it wrong.

Midrash 5

Friday 14 October 2011 18:52

Dude..stick to hand lotion. No need to reinvent the wheel

Comments

strife1313 4

Saturday 15 October 2011 3:58

Should of dipped the whole thing in the candle I'm sure a wax museum would be interested in it

mandibreann1212 6

Saturday 15 October 2011 8:47

Should have*

aerogxt 7

Saturday 15 October 2011 4:22

Goodness gracious great balls of fire!!

JinxosGirl87 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 4:41

Little girls have penises? ;P

wriptidez 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 11:23

burn cream?

wriptidez 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 11:23

burn cream?

FlyingLazerWALRU 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 12:28

Why'd you put hot wax on your penis?

brunobabe 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 16:01

Im pretty sure no little girl has ever screamed when hot wax fell on her penis…

rayzer_fml 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 17:22

Naw the OP isn't a "strong man", he is a weak fraction of a man! LMAO!!! XD

zembof 3

Saturday 15 October 2011 18:55

OWWWWWWWWWCH

Okayitwasme 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 20:46

Umm it's light a match! The sulpher smell is what clears the air. I thought everyone knew that. That's too funny totally deserved it for not making sure you had it right.