Intimacy: Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with...

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By whoops - 25/05/2014 21:23 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 067

You deserved it 10 216

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Same thing different taste

By Allie - 03/06/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 066

You deserved it 26 505

By ... - 04/01/2014 05:25 - United States

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 385

You deserved it 8 787

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 264

You deserved it 13 266

By Anonymous - 13/08/2012 18:48 - United Kingdom - Goole

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 068

You deserved it 5 220

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 382

You deserved it 28 352

By Anonymous - 31/07/2018 01:30

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 016

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 19/09/2018 22:15

Today, I was flirting with a guy and we ended up having a deep conversation through text. We were talking all our problems, and saying really sweet things to each other. I THOUGHT he was going to say something else really sweet and cute. He linked me to Suicide Hotline instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 938

You deserved it 546

By Aus - 26/04/2012 14:43 - United States

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 020

You deserved it 4 217

LOL

By iPhonekid - 27/05/2012 07:19 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back, saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 486

You deserved it 7 864

Whatsapp? Not much

By Cat - 12/04/2019 19:00 - Greece - Athens

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 3 766

kelsorg 21

Monday 26 May 2014 2:02

you better own up to your word lol

elijahisaboss 10

Monday 26 May 2014 2:03

My question is what did he say

Comments

buckdharma 37

Monday 26 May 2014 5:47

Buy him a tooth brush and he'll really be confused.

Enslaved 36

Monday 26 May 2014 7:51

Especially if the toothbrush brand is an ORAL-B(j).

captainsmegma 12

Monday 26 May 2014 6:21

You the man! !

graceinsheepwear 33

Monday 26 May 2014 6:33

Tell him you meant you'd be a sympathetic ear; you know, aural support.

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 26 May 2014 6:36

Here's hoping he takes you up on it!

Pointy 12

Monday 26 May 2014 6:37

Well did u give it to him?

adjwejaelwkdc 21

Monday 26 May 2014 7:35

Sounds like it sucks to be you.

Xeebar 28

Monday 26 May 2014 7:39

So you'll talk to him like a good friend should then. Good.

BrotherPhil 35

Monday 26 May 2014 8:32

Now there's a real friend.

Mama4ddk 15

Monday 26 May 2014 8:33

just tell him that you meant from a girl, you would help him find one. Lol either that or tell him that your phone is dyslexic.lmao good luck

EmiliaB 12

Monday 26 May 2014 8:50

He just got opposite friend-zoned.

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Keywords

Embarrassing Love School Crush Mental health Confused Friends Sex Intimacy My ex DIY I need your advice Awkward Education Break-ups Miscellaneous Delivery Annoying Insulting Scary Parenting Kids Clothes Racism Work Cats Animals Frustration Cute Alcohol

The Top

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 133

You deserved it 10 539

Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 402

The Top

Today, I watched a video my ex-girlfriend posted. It was a cute little video of her three children playing at a park. She’s happily married. Meanwhile, I haven’t had a girlfriend since we broke up… 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 638

Today, I found out that while I was at my job as an "essential" employee, my laid-off boyfriend was at home banging the landlord's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 780

You deserved it 193

Today, I found out that when my parents said they couldn't afford gifts for us kids, what they really meant was that they weren't buying a gift for me. I found this out when I overheard my father telling my uncle about the things he got my siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 475

You deserved it 1 347

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 248

You deserved it 3 698

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 899

You deserved it 3 859

Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 247

Same thing different taste

LOL

Whatsapp? Not much

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