By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 231
You deserved it 4 876
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Luckster 0

He's old enough to where his sexist remarks make sense. 70 years younger and I woulda bitch slapped him with my metal-decorated bike gloves on.

26 5

Comments

noshitsherlock 0

So your neighbor is a sexist, pervy creep. Your life is not ****** though.

7 7
brendalovee_ 0

he's the one that should get a boob job lol

5 5
dspadres 0

The cookbook and the boyfriend were just him being polite. He saved the truth for last.

5 5
melissa_10 7

it actually sounds like pretty good advice to me... lol

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Starchild21 3

Yeah you would love to be told that wouldn't you?

2 0
Ohnothingreally 0

Um, I don't know any woman who makes their perverted 86 year old neighbor sandwiches...

2 0
DrAwesome 6

Well, I don't know about the boob job and the cookbook, assuming you didn't already know how to cook and apparently have not-so-big breasts, but the boyfriend part, uhh... I bet that old man get's PRET-ty lonely sometimes, if you catch mah drift. ;)

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plexico 3

The crazy old coot has the order mixed up! If you have a boyfriend, you don't need the boob job. If you don't have a boyfriend, then get the boob job. The cookbook is a must have. If you have a boob job and a boyfriend, you will lose him to a girl with a boob job and a cookbook. Or just tell the old fart you're a lesbian, give his **** a few strokes and he'll drop dead right there.

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GR3453m0nk3y 4

wow a comment by plexico was moderated

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Ohnothingreally 0

Well, buried. But I never thought that would happen. I mean, plexico is like the FML God! And Intoxicunt is his Goddess.

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Intoxicunt 5

It was unmoderated. And thank you! I want to be Hera. She's an awesome evil bitch. :D

1 0
Inverted 0

Exactly, and at least the old guy was honest, right?

0 1
null_fml 11

plexico HAS amassed a few humourless enemies in his time. But I'm pretty sure his allies can provide a few more thumbs up (and faster) than the collective thumbs down of his enemies. :)

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Intoxicunt 5

Oh, btw, I meant "unburied" not "unmoderated". FML.

1 0
redbluegreen 40

Hahahaha. Ohh... The FML rulers have returned! I miss our long talks. Even if it's only been a few days.

1 0
GR3453m0nk3y 4

sorry it was Buried not moderated i was confragled

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myballs 0

Well - that is true to an extent. Knowing how to cook is a marvelous skill. Especially if you live by yourself. . . fast food is detrimental to the whole 'successful life' thing.

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