Intimacy: Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking...

By loon - 28/10/2008 11:13 - France

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 850

You deserved it 9 789

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Same thing different taste

By Titanic - 07/12/2008 08:46 - France

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 011

You deserved it 5 155

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 755

You deserved it 89 100

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 782

By Falouila - 17/12/2008 07:15 - France

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 756

You deserved it 5 048

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 5 901

By wtfrelationship - 21/10/2009 04:07 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 640

You deserved it 11 477

I'll just hang out I guess

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 824

You deserved it 4 306

By notmyday - 25/02/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 065

You deserved it 8 966

Crushed

By annonymous - 19/09/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 353

You deserved it 2 711

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 661

You deserved it 4 166

lifepwns 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:58

the price you pay for hanging onto what you can't have.

will90 5

Thursday 2 April 2009 3:28

Stop being a pussy and get off the sideline.

Comments

quachie 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 20:33

DAMN! half an hour (Y) that boy should consider going into the porno business

Zahhn 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:02

I know how you feel...

ZachMitch1994 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:16

hahaha that sucks bro

nikkired 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 0:07

Did you ever tell her how you feel, or did you wait like a good little puppy for her to return ?

nikkired 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 0:10

LOL @ # 32

Gateway13 0

Friday 13 August 2010 21:41

man up and win her over!

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 1:44

Don't be secretly in love. tell that bich how ya really feel

lilwest 0

Friday 10 September 2010 2:49

Ouch!

Frenchface 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 17:37

sorry about that..poor cat and poor you for being robbed

hthelittleone 10

Thursday 2 June 2011 21:52

I'd go for a day

Keywords

Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Friends Jealousy Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 133

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I accidentally mooed during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 235

You deserved it 3 187

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 86

Today, my boss asked me to help train his son, so I put him to work cleaning tools covered in oil. He didn’t warn me his son has a violent temper, and would overreact at being asked to work for a living by dumping the bucket of tools on my head, breaking my glasses and concussing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 78

Today, my grandpa actually believed a "hot 19 year-old" lived "only 10 miles away" and was "desperate to meet him." Our family laptop with the backups of all our childhood photos and videos is now infected with the worst virus I've ever seen, and may require factory resetting or just scrapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 151

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 416

You deserved it 9 613

Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 132