Miscellaneous: Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My...

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 500

You deserved it 4 176

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 047

You deserved it 4 128

By longlostkid556 - 05/06/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 228

You deserved it 5 812

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 773

You deserved it 4 994

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 708

You deserved it 3 253

Awful line of inquiry

By teddyissmall - 14/04/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 055

You deserved it 7 427

By maddiee. - 21/10/2010 15:20 - Indonesia

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 283

You deserved it 7 333

Couch action

By Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 024

You deserved it 6 705

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 583

You deserved it 295

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 506

You deserved it 4 074

By Some Girl - 08/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 205

You deserved it 4 987

24788 6

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:10

It's your dads job to make sure your never having sex in your life.

corndog45 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:02

lol i am sorry

Comments

asiancreampuff 0

Monday 28 December 2009 0:26

Haha your dad is funny... he's just teasing you. Your crush probably thought nothing of it. Why are people getting offended ? If you're fat and offended by her dad, then you need to realize that the whole world isn't going to baby you and your fatness. Go exercise and eat healthier. If you're not fat and offended by "bad parenting," her father's parenting is a million times more effective then never letting your kid realize people will tease you regardless IRL... sheltered/bubbled kids = maladjusted individual in human society.

Anteezy 7

Monday 28 December 2009 1:38

Your dad is slick.

RuralNinja 0

Monday 28 December 2009 1:40

YDI. If you weren't a porker, he wouldn't have said anything. On the plus side though, there's plenty of guys who get drunk and go hogging, so you'll still be able to get some.