Miscellaneous: Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my... - FML

By Scarred4Life - 01/01/2012 06:18 - United States

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 765

You deserved it 3 521

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Same thing different taste

By SAM - 05/08/2018 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad gave me his old camera. I got home and eagerly turned it on to start using it. I was greeted by a photo of my father drunk, smiling, naked, and covered in peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 229

You deserved it 329

By Falling off the wagon - 09/11/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 454

You deserved it 3 569

By CK95 - 01/01/2015 23:02 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 838

You deserved it 8 051

By vanorav - 18/03/2012 02:41 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 573

You deserved it 2 246

By Vlad - 21/11/2018 13:30

Today, my uncle is on vacation with his friend, who sent us a video of their hotel room. He captured a glimpse of my uncle in the shower. Naked. This can't be unseen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 042

You deserved it 300

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 229

You deserved it 5 382

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 663

You deserved it 2 777

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 16:43 - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 070

You deserved it 3 570

By batsu - 27/01/2012 06:48 - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 66 779

By always-the-responsible-one - 03/01/2010 08:42 - Canada

Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 625

You deserved it 3 110

Next

Top comments

elinhjortskull 7

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:09

He's sexy and he knows it.

GoWithTheFro 10

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:07

Well, at least it's been a memorable year.

Comments

Rachel1987 4

Sunday 1 January 2012 13:33

Try walking out of the room next time. Or offer to help.

Sanch101 7

Sunday 1 January 2012 13:43

Why were you staring at him? I would try to do everything but look at him.

ScaughtieHolden 11

Sunday 1 January 2012 13:54

38, hash tags don't work on here.

DruDay504 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 13:55

Yknow how they say that the thing you're doing when the clock ticks over on new years eve is the thing you'll be doing for the rest of the year? Well... Have fun with your uncle in 2012!

ma77 9

Sunday 1 January 2012 14:00

Damn Greeks. At least it wasn't feta.

NoobCommenter96 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 14:43

Happy New Years then...... I guess : S

SSgt 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 14:49

That's some kinky shit man.

IBelongToJeebus 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 15:14

*shitty **** music plays*

TS13_fml 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 15:39

You shoudve joined him

Angelastic_fml 18

Sunday 1 January 2012 15:50

If it was really 'today' when you wrote that, your last few seconds of 2011 were spent writing an FML. Is that better or worse?

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Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Weekend Parents Kids Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 925

You deserved it 3 628

Today, after I caught my (now ex) boyfriend cheating. He told me that it isn't my business if he was seeing other woman, because we didn't had an official relationship. We have been living together in a house we bought, for two years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 150

The Top

Today, I was messaging a nice guy. He sent a picture of himself and asked for one back. Shortly after my picture sent, he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 155

You deserved it 1 364

Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 946

You deserved it 9 362

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 515

You deserved it 2 937

Today, my boss told me I can't use the computer for entertainment. This coming from the same person who spends hours at a time every day on Facebook and other similar websites. I'm also not allowed to sit down while using the computer, which I use about half of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 240

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 935

You deserved it 7 612

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 688

You deserved it 9 057