By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 23:39 - Canada - Mississauga

Spicy
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 397
You deserved it 4 294

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I feel bad for the guy that got caught doing it xD

Comments

Damnit, OP's from Canada. I swear we're not all freaks who ********** at work...

29- Unfortunately, I can think of at least one of my co-workers here in friendly Winnipeg, Manitoba that has. ;( Ick. Not too surprising I guess. I once read 98% of people ********** and 2% lie and say they don't. ;) Considering you're at work half the time you're conscious, up to 49% of your co-workers may have done exactly that there. ;P

Actually, I think its more around 80%, I doubt EVERYONE in the world masturbates... lying about it would be pointless then. :)

69- 80% of people may habitually **********, I was thinking more that virtually everyone has masturbated at least Once in their lives. Still, your 80% stat would be more relevant to my point.....so 40% of people May self stimulate at work.....not a small percentage, as for every 5 people you shake hands with, 4 used that hand to "shake themselves." ;)

Draco' - your numbers assume that people are equally likely to ********** during the entire period that they are awake. I suspect that, in reality, if you compared the chances of doing so when, for example, "alone in the house" against "on a crowded subway train" you would find a marked difference. Being awake is not a sufficient condition for most people to consider masturbation appropriate. For most, "at work" is also a no-go.

^ Ugi, my numbers are also extremely sckewed to favour the worst case scenario. I very much suspect most people think masturbating at work is taboo, as despite all the FML's about people trying to blow themselves on subways or on omegle, or bosses fapping in restrooms or putting signs against fapping at work, it's probably far less than 1% that actually do. :)

Funny because the boss must've walked in on people doing it

31- Funnier yet if this Op was the same one who wrote in a week ago about walking in on his boss cranking his meat in the restroom, right before his job performance review. I imagine the signs came up right afterwards so the boss didn't feel singled out himself. :P Probably not, but one can hope. ;)

Sounds like there needs to be a crackdown of sorts in your office. Hopefully they don't catch them midway if they decide to do so.

WTF ?? Where the hell are you working?!

40- At a daycare facility.....why do you ask? ;p (God that joke was horrible, someone beat me, please.) :p

RedPillSucks 31

This has to be BS. I am pretty sure masturbating at your desk is a sackable offence, and an arrestable one. Why would people do that in public? No way. Can't be true.

You'd be surprised at what some people are willing to do in public.

gmc_blossom 21

Aw, come on! We've all masturbated at work before! It's a common work-related activity. Why do it in the privacy of your own home when you can do it with a potential audience? Fun times can be had for all involved. Plus, who knows? If your boss likes what they see, you may get a promotion! Maybe it will become a ritual. What was once known as "break time" now becomes a great masturbation circle of some sort. Whoever orgasms first gets a raise!

Where would they ****, and what's wrong with using the toilet?

mrsmaglietta 6