Intimacy: Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron...

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By Sorry - 03/03/2010 16:22 - Canada

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 852

You deserved it 7 855

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 042

You deserved it 9 312

A good yanking

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 744

You deserved it 6 768

A for Effort

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 20:01 - Australia

Today, I thought I would spice things up a bit and rocked my man's world, but in the kitchen. Apparently, some of his cum must have got on the tiles because I slipped on it 15 minutes later. In doing so I smacked my head on the fridge.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 682

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 752

You deserved it 6 426

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 211

You deserved it 410

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 347

You deserved it 4 005

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 802

You deserved it 5 505

By sissica - 11/02/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 206

You deserved it 6 632

Red flag

By Nicky - 15/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 746

You deserved it 9 197

snapdragons 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:05

**** his life actually

Pixie333 6

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:04

...

Comments

eat_this_buddie 5

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:10

haha "knob" take his hand next time genius.

sc95060sc 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:56

u already ****** said that

gurlucrazy 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 21:33

@12 desperate much? we understood that you think she should've grabbed his hand instead of his 'knob' after the first time you posted it

eat_this_buddie 5

Thursday 4 March 2010 6:20

sorry guys. my phone was acting up. >.<

susieKiute 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:11

hahaha! hey if it helped you out then it was at least put to good use

UnearthlyEnemy 9

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:14

ow!!!

dacman48 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:15

OMFG f his life, not urs. that should be legal grounds for divorce right there

chandlerthedog 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:15

bet you kissed it better.....

SupaSteveXpz 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:18

wow that's. defo fml on his side

amiemariej 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:19

fck your husbands life, he's the one who had to suffer

rowyourboat 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:19

I really hate that word. "Knob" "/ :L

anonacs 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:22

triple 6 mafia only used knob cause it rhymed with slob. what a terrible word for a penis.

Mordecai89 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:30

hahaha ****... I would deman sex for the next month

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You deserved it 2 707

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I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 337

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I agree, your life sucks 43 459

You deserved it 12 108

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 763

You deserved it 13 533

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I agree, your life sucks 18 657

You deserved it 38 910

Today, my mother-in-law moved in with my husband and I, where she shits the bed and herself. There's a waiting list for the nursing home, so in the meantime I’m cleaning up her shit and she isn’t even my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 242