Intimacy: Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what...

By notgoodenough - 25/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 423

You deserved it 9 239

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/11/2016 13:17 - United States - New York

Today, on Thanksgiving, I asked my kid what she is thankful for. "My tablet." I had just told her I was thankful for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 738

You deserved it 2 277

By ToysforHire - 22/09/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 7 842

By AMIGODO - 12/02/2011 15:13 - Netherlands

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 864

You deserved it 5 119

By Anonymous - 25/12/2012 07:12 - United States

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 868

You deserved it 55 556

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 652

You deserved it 10 420

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 377

You deserved it 7 037

By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 475

You deserved it 7 481

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 187

You deserved it 2 062

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 858

You deserved it 6 270

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 19 408

unixdude 9

Friday 25 November 2011 22:43

...and you are thankful for ****** on Craigslist because you girlfriend is too much of a prude.

kimee21_fml 15

Friday 25 November 2011 22:41

But it is funny!

Comments

Ncdad75 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:17

"I'm thankful I can drive and your vibrator can't. Have fun walking home."

JubileeBee 31

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:21

Why, exactly, are you having sex before marriage?

dhardesty23 8

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:21

step it up bro!

Okayitwasme 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:35

So, she is saying thank you to God for her vibrator! I bet she thinks that's being Christian! This is why I don't celebrate these lame holidays. Not many people respect God!

DioxideSpartan 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:41

She probably wasn't degrading God or Christians. Relax

Okayitwasme 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 1:14

Ya, I'm in a pissy mood! :(

ihasbrains 10

Saturday 26 November 2011 3:26

Some people don't even believe in a God. Like me.

Okayitwasme 0

Monday 28 November 2011 1:00

Then who was she saying thank you to!!!!!!????

amberlysue 3

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:37

fake

Gregsgirl4ever 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:42

Wow.. Quite the classy chick you have right there. I somehow think you can take her everywhere...:s

perdix 29

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:49

Are you kidding me? It takes giant balls to say something like that to a roomful of strangers. Are you sure you are dating a female, and not a transvestite with humongous nuts?

Falalala243 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 6:57

84- how do you know they are strangers?

perdix 29

Saturday 26 November 2011 7:41

Because it's funnier to think the gf just met the family. If she's the perpetual, long-time gf and this is her 10th Thanksgiving with the family, that would just be sad.

Tmoney20 3

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:52

You have a shitty gf to go along with your shitty sex drive... Foreplay helps!

Alymc13 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 1:13

Wow. What a trashy woman.

JukeboxValkyrie 19

Saturday 26 November 2011 1:14

She needs to remember that vibrators will always feel better if she doesn't tell you how she likes things. A woman knows her body perfectly and with the added movements and vibrations that a vibe can give that's an unfair advantage. Op's gf needs to be more clear on how HE can please her, instead of relying on a toy.