Work: Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island...

By rogerusmc23 - 24/05/2011 02:41 - Japan

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 269

You deserved it 4 607

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Same thing different taste

By larrythelobster - 11/02/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, one of my junior marines called to tell me they were in an accident that totaled both cars. The car he hit was parked in a nearby parking garage. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 420

You deserved it 478

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 06:38 - Iraq

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 266

You deserved it 3 700

By anonymous - 11/02/2011 09:54

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 238

You deserved it 4 153

By carboat - 28/01/2009 09:24 - United States

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 370

You deserved it 44 745

Let me out!

By Anonymous - 21/03/2016 21:26 - United States - Depew

Today, I parked my car in the company lot and walked down the street to a mandatory company training. While I was at the training, everyone back at the office decided to leave early and locked the company lot. My car is now stuck there for the night and I'm walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 924

You deserved it 1 530

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 14:59 - Australia

Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 3 235

By naps aren't what they used to be - 27/04/2013 22:05 - United States

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 093

You deserved it 25 946

By Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - 12/11/2014 03:16 - United States - Spotswood

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 102

You deserved it 5 188

By Anonymous - 17/02/2014 17:36 - United States

Today, I was at work at the airport. I got called up to a plane's cargo hold, and thought I'd finally learn how to use the loader. Turns out they just needed me to weigh something down, effectively making me ballast. Then my boss told me to get the hell off, after which I hit my head hard climbing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 173

You deserved it 4 455

You're in the army now, oh ohoh, you're in the army. Now.

By LoveGlove - 21/06/2014 21:42 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 131

You deserved it 4 958

MagicMushrooms 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 8:40

RAMIERZ!!! GUARD MY PARKING SPOT!

mfmylifesrsly 29

Tuesday 24 May 2011 8:39

I love military men :)

Comments

random1st 2

Tuesday 24 May 2011 18:48

don't be a dirt bag and volunteer jarhead then you won't get bad posts USAF rules

los213 4

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:02

Oorah junior enlisted

S4ndsurph3r 4

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:05

well think of it this way. that helicopter could jave got shot down while you get to live

Phoenix_fml 13

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:18

Oorah Terminal Lances. "EAS, baby, you can't stop time"

pinklady72191 4

Tuesday 24 May 2011 22:51

Uncle Sam's getting his so I'mma get mine... great song.

marktucci 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:23

suck it up nugget!

OfficeNinja 5

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:38

that's classic. your staff Sargent rules!

wthowell_2010 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:13

EER-RAH!! lol

raff696 3

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:14

dude I feel your pain! Semper Fi!

pmisk 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 21:03

cry about it you boot

Herboski1315 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 21:13

Semper Fidelis!!!!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 10 760

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, my ex-wife tried to hit me up for money for a skip bin, because the kids' room was too messy. She then sent me a picture of the mess after I said no, then I retaliated by submitting a report to child services against her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 557

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 639

You deserved it 27 305

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 971

You deserved it 261

Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 712

You deserved it 33 806

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I rested on the glass protecting the cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 448

You deserved it 79 851

Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 8 965

Same thing different taste

Let me out!

You're in the army now, oh ohoh, you're in the army. Now.

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