Miscellaneous: Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very...

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 2 866

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

By nicknick2 - 18/05/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 080

You deserved it 3 918

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 3 420

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 4 361

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 179

You deserved it 7 690

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 438

DFlit1 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 15:54

Old bitches r still bitches

saIty 17

Tuesday 23 August 2011 15:59

It's a miracle she's alive. Some old people cut the cheese so hard they blow up.

Comments

Fats2334 0

Tuesday 22 May 2012 2:42

And she is laughing her ass off in her retirement home now!

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The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

The Top

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 257

You deserved it 54 610

Today, I found out that if my husband and I move to another country to live, then his mom and sister will live with us too. I'm already living with them because of societal traditions. I like them and everything, but I really need some privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 356

Today, an old flame reached out with some truly filthy intent. After burning with righteous indignation, I ended up sending back some embarrassingly submissive pictures. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 595

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 098

You deserved it 6 550

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 156

You deserved it 4 010

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 644

You deserved it 6 376

Same thing different taste

Stealth bomber

Denial

Own it!

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