Intimacy: Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants....

By ANON - 13/08/2013 23:53 - United States - Sacramento

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 059

You deserved it 19 165

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Same thing different taste

By idontlikebitter - 08/03/2016 21:10 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 224

You deserved it 3 966

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 187

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 9 980

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 456

You deserved it 25 228

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 2 068

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 311

You deserved it 21 673

By grossed out - 05/05/2013 23:10 - United States - Mount Prospect

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 251

You deserved it 8 263

Ouch

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 05:00

Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 540

You deserved it 437

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

agentaquamarine 4

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:52

talk about ear-otic

ghostlilac 25

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:47

Andy Samberg? Is that you?

Comments

SauceySarah 30

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:54

I laughed so hard at this FML I came in my pants.

AbstraktThoughts 13

Wednesday 14 August 2013 9:58

Your comment perfectly matches your name ;)

SlapAndTickle 20

Wednesday 14 August 2013 12:05

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

grlygrl93 14

Wednesday 14 August 2013 19:44

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

wysportsman 1

Thursday 15 August 2013 2:37

Lol I agree with you!

theKevmeister 13

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:54

a no pump chump

lolfood 24

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:56

Well, you know something new about yourself now.

jococo7787 3

Wednesday 14 August 2013 16:22

Yeah, they know a new masturbation technique.

dallaschloe2 15

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:56

Poor dude, everyone's picking on him. FYL buddy.

ty7in_topic 31

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:57

*Cleveland* Oh that's nasty!

cmac86 23

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:59

this brings to mind the family guy ear sex episode.

aintlifeapain 21

Wednesday 14 August 2013 9:02

Did you take the ****** joke literally and were testing whether your Q-tip gets more pleasure or your ear?

SamanthaNGoree 10

Wednesday 14 August 2013 9:05

Relax... It happens to me all the time.

diamond69_fml 14

Wednesday 14 August 2013 15:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

NopeFuckThat 7

Wednesday 14 August 2013 9:05

Erogenous zone?

snugglesMcGee199 23

Wednesday 14 August 2013 9:50

I think you mean, earogenous!

Obey_StudBoii 23

Wednesday 14 August 2013 9:07

Talk about a new fetish.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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Same thing different taste

Coming through

Wax on, wax off

Ouch

AKA taking a screenshot

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