Miscellaneous: Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter...

By Screwupify - 06/08/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 893

You deserved it 7 263

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Same thing different taste

By datingamoron - 14/02/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 370

You deserved it 3 990

Classic

By Anonymous - 11/03/2021 16:30 - United States - Enterprise

Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 559

Nice try

By Peel - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 053

You deserved it 7 869

By unloved - 17/04/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 739

You deserved it 2 749

Currency

By PizzaBwaaay - 03/05/2022 22:00

Today, I was delivering pizzas and hit up a dude’s house who ordered two boxes of extra large. He gave me the exact change. I asked him, “What about the tip?” He paused for a minute, let out this loud rancid fart and said, “There’s your tip bub, now piss off!” and shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 1 483

Tipped off

By Anonymous - 30/09/2014 23:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 753

You deserved it 10 173

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 14/02/2023 22:00

Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 21/05/2015 20:41 - United States

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 039

You deserved it 3 262

By oops - 11/05/2015 16:40 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 485

You deserved it 9 897

By mynameisarmpit - 15/11/2010 06:48

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 723

You deserved it 4 671

Mividareal 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:04

FML?!?! Shit, you should consider yourself lucky!

ohnoyouDINT 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:09

So....did you try the sausage?

Comments

simcraft 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:14

sounds like Florida to me

ohnoyouDINT 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:24

Florida is so ****** up because they get all the rejects who couldn't make it in other states.

lexieloo 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:18

thats not an fml.... thats just a cheesy pickup line

bizzmal 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:20

haha... ****.....

purelyperky 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:22

Haha! Love it!

koneko12984 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:23

i woulda said "prove it or stfu" hahaha

skiBOAT 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:26

You're being hit on soo grossss FYL

Kiwi_Splash 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:27

Cool guy.

dramakat11 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:27

I agree # 64--it's really no big deal. Just a cheesy pick-up line. Do him a favor and tell him lines like that won't get him far with most girls. And #54--yeah I suppose you could report him; he's a waiter and he'd probably get in trouble but I don't think it's worth it. Honestly OP--did it cause you any serious damage? If sexual innuendo bothers you that much I think that's kind of silly.