Miscellaneous: Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter...

By Screwupify - 06/08/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 893

You deserved it 7 263

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Same thing different taste

By datingamoron - 14/02/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 370

You deserved it 3 990

Classic

By Anonymous - 11/03/2021 16:30 - United States - Enterprise

Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 559

Nice try

By Peel - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 053

You deserved it 7 869

By unloved - 17/04/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 739

You deserved it 2 749

Currency

By PizzaBwaaay - 03/05/2022 22:00

Today, I was delivering pizzas and hit up a dude’s house who ordered two boxes of extra large. He gave me the exact change. I asked him, “What about the tip?” He paused for a minute, let out this loud rancid fart and said, “There’s your tip bub, now piss off!” and shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 1 483

Tipped off

By Anonymous - 30/09/2014 23:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 753

You deserved it 10 173

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 14/02/2023 22:00

Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 21/05/2015 20:41 - United States

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 039

You deserved it 3 262

By oops - 11/05/2015 16:40 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 485

You deserved it 9 897

By mynameisarmpit - 15/11/2010 06:48

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 723

You deserved it 4 671

Mividareal 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:04

FML?!?! Shit, you should consider yourself lucky!

ohnoyouDINT 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:09

So....did you try the sausage?

Comments

SarlaccBits 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:09

How is this an FML? I’m gonna go with – was he cute? Tell him to deliver you another 'large pizza' tomorrow night. ;)

plexico 3

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:09

I wouldn't trust the sausage on their pizzas. And if you get a sandwich with mayo, don't eat it.

XOfiestypixie 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:57

Haha. Plexico's comment FTW!

Eccentricity_96 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:09

Well maybe she's not interested in guys,thats why she said FML...

molliross 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:11

well, was he cute?

letitbe56 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:13

Wow, that is SO gross.

Shenaniganss 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:15

How is this an FML? Not a FYL or YDI, you're nuts. Take it as a compliment and carry on.

letitbe56 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:23

How is telling her that his **** is enormous a compliment to her? Clearly all he wants is to get laid. That's not a compliment.

Shenaniganss 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:27

Well. Honestly, I'd never take it as a compliment. Just saying that maybe he thinks she's hot. Either way, she can just ignore it and carry on.

simcraft 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:16

hot isn't a compliment either

Jrbn 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 7:37

#61 is a ******* idiot

foreverboredZ 4

Thursday 18 October 2012 4:29

She could more interested in women...

iGreen_Day 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:16

Complain?

getfighted 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:18

oh baby lmao was he hot though?

getfighted 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:18

oh baby lmao was he hot though?

crystal122208 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:21

you got hit on big deal it doesn't mean your life is ******

letitbe56 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:25

Yeah, but the guy went out of his way to make getting hit on as unpleasant an experience for her as possible. The FML is that the guy was being vulgar, not that he hit on her.