Miscellaneous: Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me...

By Anonymous - 01/09/2014 02:18 - United States - Bronx

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 946

You deserved it 3 250

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Same thing different taste

Costume parties are the worst

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 563

You deserved it 57 482

By RequilaRainbow - 26/01/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 692

You deserved it 4 337

By Anonymous - 27/05/2015 14:21 - Mexico

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 187

You deserved it 2 811

By adeeri - 04/09/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 296

You deserved it 3 228

By Amanda - 02/07/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 4 745

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 174

You deserved it 3 236

Candy Andy

By bad karma - 21/11/2011 14:34 - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 46 239

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 121

You deserved it 4 709

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 159

You deserved it 3 657

Look before you leap

By lemonlime66 - 01/03/2017 22:00

Today, while sitting in a busy store waiting area with my brother, he went to the bathroom and came back with his hands cupped, saying he found a mouse. He then threw it on the magazine in my lap. I jumped up, screaming and flailing about while everyone stared and laughed. It was a piece of cotton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 736

You deserved it 1 203

Marie54321 19

Monday 1 September 2014 7:56

At least you weren't eating a hot dog, who knows where he could have bit you then?

CJB3228 17

Monday 1 September 2014 7:56

I bet you tasted just as good

Comments

LibertyLife20 20

Monday 1 September 2014 8:29

Tasty

imbatmanfir 15

Monday 1 September 2014 8:31

Ooooh piece of candy!

GentlemanBastard 15

Monday 1 September 2014 9:53

Oooh piece of candy!

BassinBoy14 13

Monday 1 September 2014 15:40

You literally just said the EXACT same thing. A+ for creativity bud.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 1 September 2014 20:17

Apparently you have not seen the video on YouTube

tygerarmy 35

Monday 1 September 2014 20:47

Ooh, piece of candy. Or the Simpsons

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 1 September 2014 22:51

#19 had one less o than #13

orbit 22

Wednesday 3 September 2014 7:14

It's also from family guy

23lf 16

Monday 1 September 2014 8:35

Drunk people can either be hilarious or annoying

PoisonOrchid 21

Monday 1 September 2014 8:57

It always sucks when you're sober and surrounded by drunk people. Hope he didn't bite too hard, OP!

CupOfCoffee 14

Monday 1 September 2014 9:05

Hahahaha, I'm sorry, that's funny, but sucks for you, OP.

sweetest_jenn 18

Monday 1 September 2014 9:26

That might be a pickup line in the makings: "Hey baby, are you sweet as cotton candy? Cuz if the answer's 'yes', I want a bite!"

pptm 13

Monday 1 September 2014 9:51

Interest ..

Nyx7 24

Monday 1 September 2014 9:55

Well what are fussing on here for, bite em back

lishajoy777 14

Monday 1 September 2014 10:00

Life Goals.

otumboo 10

Monday 1 September 2014 10:15

I'd get a tenuous shot if I were you

haddiej 21

Tuesday 2 September 2014 0:30

tetanus

Keywords

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Today, I dressed up nicely to see the guy that I like and have been talking to for the last 3 months. Just when I thought he was finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend, he told me that he's actually had a girlfriend for 3 years now, but was too afraid to tell me because he really likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 148

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I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 145

Today, I dropped off my visibly-upset Uber passengers off at a funeral. I absentmindedly said, “Good luck, have fun!” as they got out. Needless to say, I got my first 1-star rating today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 082

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 179

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 529

You deserved it 3 477

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 149

You deserved it 4 401

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 244

You deserved it 2 882

Same thing different taste

Costume parties are the worst

Candy Andy

Look before you leap

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