Intimacy: Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour,...

By nickyboy - 02/12/2010 17:02 - Australia

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 911

You deserved it 8 682

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Same thing different taste

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 92

To the left of what?

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband moved all the furniture a few inches to the left because he saw online that it makes moving around the house really difficult, and he wanted to test it out. Unfortunately, the one who tested it out was me; I got home, went to sit down, and broke 2 toes on the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 94

By godhatesme - 10/12/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 128

You deserved it 20 729

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 695

You deserved it 34 728

By Ignorant - 07/10/2017 06:00

Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 000

You deserved it 896

By imatotalloser - 28/07/2017 05:00

Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 272

You deserved it 341

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 3 094

This is why we can't have nice things.

By Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 205

You deserved it 447

By fhe - 16/04/2012 15:52 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 649

You deserved it 2 683

Mr Rogers

By Anonymous - 29/11/2023 05:00

Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 150

DrAwesome 6

Thursday 2 December 2010 23:55

She was talking about YOU, silly! She already wants to marry you! :D

CitrusGirl 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 23:50

You are probably a very unobservant fellow. If she's your neighbor you should probably see his car at least.

Comments

Residence_fml 4

Friday 3 December 2010 1:07

You are her neighbour and never noticed her husband? Are they new in town or living 2 miles away? You should have noticed something, or you wanted to do her so bad you didn't even noticed your surroundings where there ALWAYS will be evidence when 2 people are living there.

DudeImBetter 0

Friday 3 December 2010 1:09

Husband - a married man, especially when considered in relation to his wife. Hope this clears it up op.

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Friday 3 December 2010 1:10

It's cool I already fixed the couch, killed the husband and put the body in the trunk of your car, along with the

zenti 2

Friday 3 December 2010 1:38

Along with the what? The suspense is killing me!

zanguard 0

Friday 3 December 2010 4:24

along with the rest of the sentence.

shutyerpiehole 0

Friday 3 December 2010 1:11

Since when do couches have beams? Roofs have beams. Couches have slats.

MoniV6661 0

Friday 3 December 2010 9:12

It was probably one of those roof couches. Durr!

Euphemism 0

Friday 3 December 2010 12:00

Or it was specially made for the fat people.

RonnieBurgundy 0

Friday 3 December 2010 1:14

And the problem is?

dmantheplaya 0

Friday 3 December 2010 1:40

that is awesome. way too funny she sounds lile the neighbour i did once.

c8750 2

Friday 3 December 2010 14:09

Maybe it's the same one. Lol

Emilyinroom483 7

Friday 3 December 2010 1:47

I keep seeing this. It's "while I WAS having sex..." not "while having sex," unless the couch was having sex with this woman. Which would be much more entertaining but pretty odd.